a while, you could miss it."
-- ferris bueller
%
-"it has been said about the EPO that if you fart in front of their
- building, you are granted a patent on 'gas tank depressurizing by
- opening a venting pipe.'"
- -- gyrosgeier on #debian-devel
-%
drink canada dry! you might not succeed, but it *is* fun trying.
%
"emacs sucks, literally, not an insult, just a comment that it's
"das internet wurde konzipiert, um einem atomschlag standzuhalten.
leider hatte kein militärstratege mit der deutschen telekom
gerechnet..."
- -- attila radnai
+ -- attila radnai
%
"next the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the
nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those
refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by
convince himself that the war is just, and will thank god for the
better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque
- self-deception."
+ self-deception."
-- mark twain
%
in seattle, washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that
%
remember, half the people are below average.
%
-i feel like i'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
-%
plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
%
fitter, healthier, more productive
gentoo gives those people a place to be that isn't in debian"
-- andrew suffield
%
-"all i know is that i'm being sued for unfair business
+"all i know is that i'm being sued for unfair business
practices by micro$oft. hello pot? it's kettle on line two."
-- michael robertson
%
/.ing an issue is like asking an infinite number of monkeys for advice
-- in #debian-devel
%
-SUSE: Soll Unix Sein, Eigentlich.
-%
if you are walking on thin ice, you might as well dance!
%
to err is human - to moo, bovine
god is real, unless declared integer.
(dedicated to gabriel gómez)
%
-women can keep a secret just as well as men,
-but it takes more of them to do it.
-%
"common sense is the collection of prejudices
acquired by age eighteen."
-- albert einstein
%
http://lavender.cime.net/~ricky/badgers.txt
%
-warning at the gates of bill:
-abandon hope, all ye who press <enter> here...
-%
"even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day."
-- orbital
%
dies ist eine manuell generierte email. sie beinhaltet
tippfehler und ist auch ohne großbuchstaben gültig.
%
-if it's there, and you can see it, it's real.
-if it's not there, and you can see it, it's virtual.
-if it's there, and you can't see it, it's transparent.
-if it's not there, and you can't see it, you erased it.
-%
mulutlitithtrhreeaadededd s siigngnatatuurere
%
"eine schlechte sache erregt, eine gute verträgt viel kritik."
"no survivors? then where do the stories come from I wonder?"
-- captain jack sparrow
%
-bush/cheney '04: the last vote you'll ever have to cast.
-%
DISCLAIMER: this entire message is privileged communication, intended
for the sole use of its recipients only. If you read it even though
you know you aren't supposed to, you're a poopy-head.
from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization."
-- john o'hara
%
-"administration for windows networks is similar to maintaining a 12
- year old gm truck. brand new, w2k+3 already has 190k miles of wear."
- -- jeremiah cornelius
-%
-Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools Them.
-%
"getting a scsi chain working is perfectly simple if you remember that
there must be exactly three terminations: one on one end of the
cable, one on the far end, and the goat, terminated over the scsi
and one's foot to wander at the same time."
-- edward perkins (yes, the librarian)
%
-gates' law: every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
-%
"being shot is not as bad as i always thought it might be.
as long as you can keep the fear from your mind."
-- special agent dale cooper
"stab it and steer"
-- sailor
%
-windoze is the one-night-stand of operating systems;
-you feel so cheap after having used it.
-%
"wer schmetterlinge lachen hört,
der weiss wie wolken schmecken."
-- freiherr friedrich von hardenberg
%
darwinism is nothing without enough dead bodies.
%
-do micro$oft's total cost of operation calculations
-include total cost of downtime?
-%
"montag, why do you burn books?"
"it's a job like any other, pay is good and there is a lot of variety."
-- ray bradbury (f451)
"politics is the entertainment branch of industry."
-- frank zappa
%
-"m.c.s.e": minesweeper consultant & solitaire expert
-%
"sometimes we sit and read other people's interpretations of our
lyrics and think, 'hey, that's pretty good.' if we liked it, we would
keep our mouths shut and just accept the credit as if it was what we
while trying to rescue him."
-- thomas nagel
%
-i'm currently out trying to find myself.
-if i should get back before i return,
-please keep me here.
-%
"life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
-- john lennon
%
should on no account be allowed to do the job"
-- douglas adams
%
-i've not lost my mind. it's backed up on tape somewhere.
-%
"if one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again,
there is no use in reading it at all."
-- oscar wilde
"i must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini."
-- alexander woolcott
%
-you can't assign IP address 127.0.0.1 to the loopback adapter,
-because it is a reserved address for loopback devices.
- -- micro$oft windoze xp professional
-%
"i love deadlines. i like the whooshing
sound they make as they fly by."
-- douglas adams
%
why do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
%
-if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
-%
"sobald man über niveau spricht
ist man längst darüber hinweg."
-- thomas krafft
"the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
-- oscar wilde
%
-"the 'volatile' keyword
- is implemented syntactically
- but not semantically"
- -- documentation of m$ visual c, around 1992
-%
-security at micro$oft: how do we secure a billion dollar profit?
-%
seen on an advertising for an elaborate swiss men's watch:
"almost as complicated as a woman. except it's on time"
%
"i doubt larry wall ever uses strict."
-- frederick heckel
%
-micro$oft: "you've got questions? we've got dancing paperclips."
-%
-micro$oft could shit in a box, and most people would buy it.
-%
eleventh law of acoustics:
in a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between
frequency response, phase response and transient response, as they
lead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost. however,
of course, this all means jack when you listen to pink floyd.
%
-it is ok to let your mind go blank,
-but please turn off the sound.
+it is ok to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
%
"our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet,
we have not learned its nature; it is our future that lays down the
%
#include <signature.h>
%
-<!--#include file="~/.signature"-->
-%
-<span tal:replace="here/signature" />
-%
-use RFC822::Signature;
-%
"a scientist once wrote that all truth passes through three stages:
first it is ridiculed, then violently opposed and eventually,
accepted as self-evident."
god's left, i would choose the left."
-- gotthold lessing
%
-"lessing was a heretics' heretic"
+"lessing was a heretics' heretic"
-- walter kaufmann
%
before he died, rabbi zusya said: "in the world to come they will not
"if you can dream it, you can do it"
-- walt disney
%
-"the unexamined life is not worth living"
+"the unexamined life is not worth living"
-- platon
%
-bill gates, 1984: "640 k ought to be enough"
-bill gates, 1995: "the internet is not a primary goal for pc usage"
-bill gates, 1999: "linux has no impact on microsoft's strategy"
-bill gates, 2004: "we promise to solve the spam problem in two years"
-%
officer, arrest that man! he's whistling a copyrighted song.
%
"the truth is rarely pure and never simple. modern life would be very
-- oscar wilde
%
"i am not in favour of long engagements. they give people the
- opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage,
+ opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage,
which i think is never advisable."
-- oscar wilde
%
"man sagt nicht 'nichts!', man sagt dafür 'jenseits' oder 'gott'."
- friedrich nietzsche
%
-"the vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"i have made good judgments in the past.
- i have made good judgments in the future."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"we have a firm commitment to nato, we are a part of nato.
- we have a firm commitment to europe. we are a part of europe."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"we are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"for nasa, space is still a high priority."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"quite frankly, teachers are the only profession
- that teach our children."
- - george w. bush
-%
"it isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
- it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
+ it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- dan quayle
%
-"it's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"africa is a nation..."
- - george w. bush
-%
"all unser übel kommt daher,
daß wir nicht allein sein können."
-- schopenhauer
"violence is the last refuge of the incompetent"
-- isaac asimov
%
-the irony is that bill gates claims to be making a stable operating
-system and linus torvalds claims to be trying to take over the world.
-%
the security, stability and reliability of a computer system
is reciprocally proportional to
the amount of vacuity between the ears of the admin.
"be the change you want to see in the world"
-- mahatma gandhi
%
-micro$oft windoze is like an air-conditioner:
-it breaks down if you open a window.
-%
-"never underestimate the bandwidth of
- a station wagon full of tapes careening down the highway."
- -- andrew s. tanenbaum
-%
-"all language designers are arrogant. goes with the territory..."
- -- larry wall
-%
-the best way to accelerate
-a computer running windoze
-is at 9.81 ms^-2
-%
"i have smoked pot. it is a stupid business, like masturbation."
-- thomas pynchon
%
seminars, n.:
from "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.
%
-the only secure micro$oft software is
-what's still shrink-wrapped in the warehouse.
-%
unix, because rebooting is for adding new hardware.
%
perl -e 'print "The earth is a disk!\n" if ( "a" == "b" );'
"it is impossible to foresee the consequences of being clever."
-- cristopher strachey
%
-... and don't get caught in the .NET!
-%
-for years, we have thought that a million monkeys typing at a million
+for years, we have thought that a million monkeys typing at a million
typewriters would eventually produce the complete works of shakespeare.
today, thanks to the internet, we know this is not true.
%
even our gigantic intellects."
-- oscar wilde
%
-"it is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned."
+"it is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned."
-- oscar wilde
%
"of course the music is a great difficulty.
%
this space intentionally left occupied.
%
-micro$oft windoze - the best solitaire game you can buy.
-%
-last year, out in california, at a pc users group, there was a demo of
-smart speech recognition software. before the demonstrator could begin
-his demo, a voice called out from the audience: "format c, return.
-yes, return." a short demo it was.
-%
*** important disclaimer:
by sending an email to any address, that will eventually cause it to
end up in my inbox without much interaction, you are agreeing that:
- this overrides any disclaimer or statement of confidentiality that
may be included on your message.
%
-my other computer is your windows box.
-%
-echo '9,J8HD,fDGG8B@?:536FC5=8@I;C5?@H5B0D@5GBIELD54DL>@8L?:5GDEJ8LDG1' |\
- sed ss,s50EBsg | tr 0-M 'p.wBt SgiIlxmLhan:o,erDsduv/cyP'
-%
-micro$oft encrypts your windows nt password when stored on a windows
-ce device. but if you look carefully at their encryption algorithm,
-they simply xor the password with "susageP", Pegasus spelled
-backwards. Pegasus is the code name of windows ce. this is so pathetic
-it's staggering.
-%
"an intellectual is someone who has found
something more interesting than sex."
-- edgar wallace
%
-after you install windows xp, you have the option to create user
-accounts. if you create user accounts, by default, they will have an
-account type of administrator with no password. way to go!
-%
-the remote desktop feature of windows xp is really nice (and
-*novel*!). a micro$oft consultant can *remotely* disable the personal
-firewall and control the system. we'll ignore the fact that this
-tampering with the firewall is not logged, and more importantly, that
-the firewall isn't restored when the clowns from redmond are done with
-their job.
-%
"oh what a tangled web we weave,
when first we practice to deceive.
but my how we improve the score,
auf seiten der wahrscheinlichkeit.
-- heinrich v. kleist
%
-linux is like a wigwam.
-no gates, no windoze, and an apache inside.
-%
it has been said that there are only two businesses
that refer to customers as users:
illegal drug trade and the computer industry.
we don't believe this to be a coincidence."
-- jeremy s. anderson
%
-if loving linux is wrong, i don't want to be right.
-%
-http://www.vcnet.com/bms/
-%
-http://kirch.net/unix-nt/
-%
"sailing is, after all, a kind of grace, a kind of magic."
-- phil berman
%
"nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit."
-- seneca
%
-when compared to windoze, unix is an operating system.
-%
it may look like i'm just sitting here doing nothing.
but i'm really actively waiting
for all my problems to go away.
opinions stated above are yours. you cannot imagine why you ever felt
otherwise.
%
-it's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.
-%
the micro$oft hoover: finally, a product that's supposed to suck!
%
(a)bort, (r)etry, (p)retend this never happened
tempt not a desperate man.
-- william shakespeare
%
-scientists will study your brain to learn
-more about your distant cousin, man.
-%
-micro$oft dns service terminates abnormally
-when it receives a response
-to a dns query that was never made.
-fix information: run your dns service on a different platform.
- -- bugtraq
-%
in africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the
ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. anthropologists
call this a form of primitive self-expression. in america they call
it golf.
%
-nasa spent 2 billion dollars on the research of a ballpoint pen that
-could write on everything, even upside down, under water, or at
-extreme temperatures; the russians used a pencil.
- (but see: http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp)
-%
obviously i was either onto something, or on something.
-- larry wall on the creation of perl
%
kill ugly radio
-- frank zappa
%
-linux: because a pc is a terrible thing to waste
-%
"time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana."
-- groucho marx
-(panda eats shoots and leaves)
%
it's as bad as you think, and they are out to get you.
%
-- victor hugo
%
"si tu veux construire un bateau, il ne faut pas réunir des hommes
-pour aller chercher le bois et les outils et les préparer à se
-répartir les différents travaux. Il faut plutôt leur donner l'envie,
-la passion de la mer infinie."
+ pour aller chercher le bois et les outils et les préparer à se
+ répartir les différents travaux. Il faut plutôt leur donner l'envie,
+ la passion de la mer infinie."
-- antoine de saint-exupéry
%
"and the sea isn't green
at which point they rotate."
-- dennis miller
%
-an avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume.
-%
there's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
%
"i wish there was a knob on the tv to turn up the intelligence.
there's a knob called 'brightness', but it doesn't seem to work."
-- gallagher
%
-click the start menu and select 'shut down.'
-%
"in the stage of grand illusion
you walked into my life
out of my dreams."
-- david bowie
%
-echo '[dO%O+38%O+PO/d0<0]Fi22os0CC4BA64E418CE7l0xAP' | dc
-%
-it said "needs windoze 98 or better," so i installed linux.
-%
-oxymoron: micro$oft works
-%
"it usually takes more than three weeks
to prepare a good impromptu speech.
-- mark twain
%
humpty was pushed.
%
-a gourmet concerned about calories
-is like a punter eyeing the clock.
-%
-micro$oft is to operating systems & security
-what mcdonalds is to gourmet cuisine.
+a gourmet concerned about calories is like a punter eyeing the clock.
%
"in the country of the blind,
the one-eyed man is not king.
he is taken to be a hallucinating lunatic."
-marshall mcluhan
%
-"in contrast to the what-you-see-is-what-you-get philosophy,
- unix is the you-asked-for-it,-you-got-it operating system."
- --scott lee
-%
la lune, c'est comme les canards
il faut aimer caresser les chats
pour avoir envie d'y aller.
%
-"micro$oft productivity software"
- - see reductio ad absurdum, conclusions.
-%
-no micro$oft components were used
-in the creation or posting of this email.
-therefore, it is 100% virus free
-and does not use html by default (yuck!).
-%
"information superhighway"
is just an anagram for
"i'm on a huge wispy rhino fart".
%
-micro$oft windoze: proof that p. t. barnum was correct.
-%
chaos reigns within.
reflect, repent, reboot.
order shall return.
our existence of its rich ambiguity.
--friedrich nietzsche
%
------BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
-Version: 3.12
-GCS/IT d- s: a-- C++(++++) UL+++(++++) P+ L++++ E--- W- N+ o-- K !w O-
-M- V PS+(+++) PE(--) Y+ PGP++ t- 5 !X R- !tv b+(++) DI--(+) D++(+++)
-G+ e>++++ h* r+>++ y+++++>+(++)
-------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
-%
- . `___
-(o- (o- (o- (o- (o- (o- (o- /\/| | |
-//\ //\ //\ //\ //\ //\ //\ ` /\/\/l-+-|
-v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ .` /\/\/|_|_|
-%
-microsoft: for when quality, reliability, and security
- just aren't that important!
-%
-perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5,(41*2),sqrt(7056),(unpack(c,H)-2),oct(115),10);'
-%
-windoze 98: <n.> useless extension to a minor patch release for 32-bit
- extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit
- operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written
- by a 2-bit company that can't stand for 1 bit of competition.
-%
"... doch warum sollte nicht jeder einzelne
aus seinem leben ein kunstwerk machen koennen?"
-- michel foucault
intoxication."
-- friedrich nietzsche
%
-redistribution of this email via the
-microsoft network is prohibited.
-%
"with sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. however, this is not
necessarily a good idea. it is hard to be sure where they are going
to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly
giving you enough rope to hang yourself.
and then some more, just to be sure.
%
-the heineken uncertainty principle:
+the uncertainty principle:
you can never be sure how many
beers you had last night.
%
but half the bee has got to be, vis-a-vis its entity. you see?
but can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee,
when half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?
- -- monty python
+ -- monty python
%
"if you stew apples like cranberries,
they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does."
%
"i don't think so," said rene descartes. just then, he vanished.
%
-"a mac is like a prostitute. sure they look good,
- but your wallet will feel a lot lighter after getting one."
- -- psychonate on irc
-%
god is dead.
-- nietzsche
nietzsche is dead.
nietzsche is god.
-- dead
%
-"you don't sew with a fork, so i see no reason
- to eat with knitting needles."
- -- miss piggy, on eating chinese food
-%
"they redundantly repeated themselves over and over,
incessantly without end and ad infinitum"
-- ibid
idioten umgeben ist, merkt das aus einem gewissen grund nicht."
-- kurt götz
%
-"try to remove the color-problem by
- restarting your computer several times."
- -- microsoft internet explorer's readme.txt
-%
-"on the other hand, with the advent of msvc 5, i can claim i use
- emacs because it's smaller and more efficient." :-)"
- -- darin johnson
-%
"william blake, you're a dead man!"
-- nobody
%
-- old chinese proverb
%
"never attribute to malice what can be
- adequately explained by incompetence."
+ adequately explained by incompetence."
-- mark twain
%
"i feel sorry for people who don't drink. when they wake up in the
for merit itself is offensive."
-- friedrich nietzsche
%
-never trust an operating system
-for which you do not have the source.
- -- source unknown
-%
"i am a deeply superficial person."
-- andy warhol
%
-"half a bee, philosophically,
- must ipso facto half not be."
- -- monty python
-%
it is better to have loved a short man
than never to have loved a tall.
%
-<n3tg0d> has /usr/bin/emacs been put into /etc/shells yet? :P
-%
quick!! act as if nothing has happened!
%
-"people don't want a president to say 'never'.
- using violence is never the first choice of the president".
- -- george w. bush
-%
"i always choose my friends for their good looks and my enemies for
their good intellects. man cannot be too careful in his choice of
enemies."
-- oscar wilde
%
-micro$oft windows psychic edition:
-we will tell you where you are going tomorrow.
-%
"the search for the perfect martini is a fraud. the perfect martini
is a belt of gin from the bottle; anything else is the decadent
trappings of civilization."
%
life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.
%
-"we americans, we're a simple people...
+"we americans, we're a simple people...
but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities."
-- robin williams, good morning vietnam
%
to eat with knitting needles."
-- miss piggy, on eating chinese food
%
-"the less you know about computers the more you want micro$oft!"
- -- micro$oft ad campaign, circa 1996
-(proof that micro$oft's advertising _isn't_ dishonest!)
-%
-"a woman does not want the truth; what is truth to women? from the
- beginning, nothing has been more alien, repugnant, and hostile to
- woman than the truth - her great art is the lie, her highest
- concern is mere appearance and beauty."
- -- friedrich nietzsche
-%
"if java had true garbage collection,
most programs would delete themselves upon execution."
-- robert sewell
zwar stehen; mit zweien aber wird sie gehen und herumkommen."
-- friedrich nietzsche
%
-"vista is evidentally latvian for "hen", and "perating system", that
- is, OS without the o, means "system for making eggs." so vista is at
- least useful come breakfast time?"
- -- kit la touche
-%
a common mistake that people make
when trying to design something completely foolproof
was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
to find somewhere to settle down and make sense.
-- douglas adams, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy"
%
-"there are lots of reasons not to use linux.
- there just aren't any good ones."
- --steven j. vaughan-nichols
-%
"in the figure of the president, george w. bush, the incompetence,
stupidity, and sheer inhumanity that characterize so much of
america's money-mad corporate elite find their quintessentially
with a champagne bottle cork."
-- arky
%
-"ich bin ein berliner!" (i am a jelly donut)
- -- john fitzgerald kennedy
-%
"she was rather too intelligent and competent-looking to be
considered entirely beautiful, but all the more attractive because
of it."
blur as if all those grains of sand had lost their bearings and were
falling all over each other just trying to get out of the way to make
room for the next moment, or instant, or tick of the clock"
--- mc 900 ft jesus (http://www.theendoftheworld.org/900/spider1.shtml)
+-- mc 900 ft jesus (http://stuff.madduck.net/pub/misc/fun/newmoon.txt)
%
"for her, the dashed lines on the freeway were like grains of sand
slipping, through an hour glass, ticking away the seconds, the
minutes, and the hours of her life. if she got home a few minutes
early on any given afternoon, it gave her a thrill as if she had
stolen a little something back from death."
--- mc 900 ft jesus (http://www.theendoftheworld.org/900/spider1.shtml)
+-- mc 900 ft jesus (http://stuff.madduck.net/pub/misc/fun/newmoon.txt)
%
"health? what good is your health when you're otherwise an idiot?"
-- theodor w. adorno
bleating from the lips of the flock."
-- thomas pynchon, gravity's rainbow
%
-"we did rate the microsoft security researcher as
- less-bad than the people who prepare the carcasses for dissection in
- biology laboratories."
+"we did rate the microsoft security researcher as less-bad than the
+ people who prepare the carcasses for dissection in biology
+ laboratories."
-- michael moyer, executive editor of _popular science_
%
"whale feces or working at microsoft? i would probably be the whale
%
i stopped fighting my inner demons.. we're all on the same side now.
%
-< Ganneff> more love
-< Ganneff> latex good!
- -- #debian-devel
-%
"give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. teach a man to
fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. talk to a hungry man about fish,
and you're a consultant."
"toleranz heißt, die fehler der anderen entschuldigen.
takt heißt, sie nicht bemerken."
-- arthur schnitzler
+%
+"i'm hot, and when i'm not, i'm cold as ice"
+ -- ac/dc, "problem child"
+%
+spooning leads to forking
+ -- seen on a t-shirt by david & goliath
+%
+i don't want to get myself into a hot babe situation.
+ -- jonathan mcdowll, #debian-uk, 6 jul 2009
projects / etc / quotes.git / blobdiff