inform the time, place.and store of this purchase for our
improvement.We shall give you a satisfactory reply.Thanks for your
patronage and welcome your comments.
- -- http://www.engrish.com
+ -- http://www.engrish.com
%
"life moves pretty fast. if you don't stop and look around once in
a while, you could miss it."
- -- ferris bueller
-%
-"it has been said about the EPO that if you fart in front of their
- building, you are granted a patent on 'gas tank depressurizing by
- opening a venting pipe.'"
- -- gyrosgeier on #debian-devel
+ -- ferris bueller
%
drink canada dry! you might not succeed, but it *is* fun trying.
%
"emacs sucks, literally, not an insult, just a comment that it's
large enough to have a noticeable gravitational pull..."
- -- mercury on #debian-devel
+ -- mercury on #debian-devel
%
if you find a spelling mistake in the above, you get to keep it.
%
%
"the duration of passion is proportionate
with the original resistance of the woman."
- -- honoré de balzac
+ -- honoré de balzac
%
"das internet wurde konzipiert, um einem atomschlag standzuhalten.
leider hatte kein militärstratege mit der deutschen telekom
gerechnet..."
- -- attila radnai
+ -- attila radnai
%
"next the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the
nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those
convince himself that the war is just, and will thank god for the
better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque
self-deception."
- -- mark twain
+ -- mark twain
%
in seattle, washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that
is over six feet in length.
%
"the question of whether computers can think
is like the question of whether submarines can swim."
- -- edsgar w. dijkstra
+ -- edsgar w. dijkstra
%
the early bird may get the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
%
remember, half the people are below average.
%
-i feel like i'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
-%
plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
%
fitter, healthier, more productive
like a pig, in a cage, on antibiotics
- -- radiohead
+ -- radiohead
%
"you know you're a hopeless geek when you misspell 'date' as 'data'"
- -- branden robinson
+ -- branden robinson
%
"if a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report."
- -- <speedstream>
+ -- <speedstream>
%
"i like .net for the same reason i like gentoo. it keeps all the
people with no clue from writing c code, which is much harder for me
to identify and eliminate from my systems. in the same way that
gentoo gives those people a place to be that isn't in debian"
- -- andrew suffield
+ -- andrew suffield
%
"all i know is that i'm being sued for unfair business
practices by micro$oft. hello pot? it's kettle on line two."
- -- michael robertson
+ -- michael robertson
%
"if you are going to run a rinky-dink distro made by a couple of
volunteers, why not run a rinky-dink distro made by a lot of
volunteers?"
- -- jaldhar h. vyas
+ -- jaldhar h. vyas
%
/.ing an issue is like asking an infinite number of monkeys for advice
- -- in #debian-devel
-%
-SUSE: Soll Unix Sein, Eigentlich.
+ -- in #debian-devel
%
if you are walking on thin ice, you might as well dance!
%
%
"i might disagree with what you have to say,
but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."
- -- voltaire
+ -- voltaire
%
EARTH
smog | bricks
"to me, vi is zen. to use vi is to practice zen. every command is
a koan. profound to the user, unintelligible to the uninitiated.
you discover truth everytime you use it."
- -- reddy ät lion.austin.ibm.com
+ -- reddy ät lion.austin.ibm.com
%
"distrust all those who love you extremely
upon a very slight acquaintance and without any visible reason."
- -- lord chesterfield
+ -- lord chesterfield
%
"the only difference between the saint and the sinner
is that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
god is real, unless declared integer.
(dedicated to gabriel gómez)
%
-women can keep a secret just as well as men,
-but it takes more of them to do it.
-%
"common sense is the collection of prejudices
acquired by age eighteen."
- -- albert einstein
+ -- albert einstein
%
"what's your conceptual continuity? --
well, it should be easy to see:
the crux of the bisquit is the apopstrophe!"
- -- frank zappa
+ -- frank zappa
%
http://lavender.cime.net/~ricky/badgers.txt
%
-warning at the gates of bill:
-abandon hope, all ye who press <enter> here...
-%
"even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day."
- -- orbital
+ -- orbital
%
"i worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
"how do you feel about women's rights?"
"i like either side of them."
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
"they that can give up essential liberty
to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety."
- -- benjamin franklin
+ -- benjamin franklin
%
dies ist eine manuell generierte email. sie beinhaltet
tippfehler und ist auch ohne großbuchstaben gültig.
%
-if it's there, and you can see it, it's real.
-if it's not there, and you can see it, it's virtual.
-if it's there, and you can't see it, it's transparent.
-if it's not there, and you can't see it, you erased it.
-%
mulutlitithtrhreeaadededd s siigngnatatuurere
%
"eine schlechte sache erregt, eine gute verträgt viel kritik."
- -- charles tschopp
+ -- charles tschopp
%
"zwei monologe, die sich gegenseitig
immer und immer wieder störend unterbrechen,
nennt man eine diskussion."
- -- charles tschopp
+ -- charles tschopp
%
"man kann die menschen nur von ihren eigenen meinungen überzeugen."
- -- charles tschopp
+ -- charles tschopp
%
"now, bring me that horizon."
- -- captain jack sparrow
+ -- captain jack sparrow
%
"no survivors? then where do the stories come from I wonder?"
- -- captain jack sparrow
+ -- captain jack sparrow
%
DISCLAIMER: this entire message is privileged communication, intended
for the sole use of its recipients only. If you read it even though
%
"if you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be. now put the foundations under them."
- -- henry david thoreau
+ -- henry david thoreau
%
"the difference between genius and stupidity
is that genius has it's limits."
- -- albert einstein
+ -- albert einstein
%
"reife des mannes, das ist es,
den ernst wiedergefunden zu haben, den
man hatte als kind beim spiel."
- -- friedrich nietzsche
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
%
"america may be unique in being a country which has leapt
from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization."
- -- john o'hara
-%
-"administration for windows networks is similar to maintaining a 12
- year old gm truck. brand new, w2k+3 already has 190k miles of wear."
- -- jeremiah cornelius
-%
-Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools Them.
+ -- john o'hara
%
"getting a scsi chain working is perfectly simple if you remember that
there must be exactly three terminations: one on one end of the
cable, one on the far end, and the goat, terminated over the scsi
chain with a silver-handled knife whilst burning *black* candles."
- -- anthony deboer
+ -- anthony deboer
%
"the worst part of being old is remembering when you was young."
- -- alvin straight (the straight story)
+ -- alvin straight (the straight story)
%
"a warm bed in a house sounds a mite better
than eating a hot dog on a stick
with an old geezer traveling on a lawn mower."
- -- alvin straight (the straight story)
+ -- alvin straight (the straight story)
%
"women, when they are not in love,
have all the cold blood of an experienced attorney."
- -- honoré de balzac
+ -- honoré de balzac
%
"although occasionally there is something to be said for solitude."
- -- special agent dale cooper
+ -- special agent dale cooper
%
"sometimes the urge to do bad is nearly overpowering"
- -- ben horne
+ -- ben horne
%
"one should never allow one's mind
and one's foot to wander at the same time."
- -- edward perkins (yes, the librarian)
-%
-gates' law: every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
+ -- edward perkins (yes, the librarian)
%
"being shot is not as bad as i always thought it might be.
as long as you can keep the fear from your mind."
- -- special agent dale cooper
+ -- special agent dale cooper
%
"arguments are extremely vulgar,
for everyone in good society
holds exactly the same opinion."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"twenty-four hour room-service must be one of the
premiere achievements of modern civilization."
- -- special agent dale cooper
+ -- special agent dale cooper
%
logik ist analsadismus: gedanken werden gewaltsam
durch einen engen gang gepreßt.
- -- frei nach lacan
+ -- frei nach lacan
%
"if ever somethin' don't feel right to you, remember what pancho said
to the cisco kid... `let's win, before we are dancing at the end of
a rope, without music.'"
- -- sailor
+ -- sailor
%
"stab it and steer"
- -- sailor
-%
-windoze is the one-night-stand of operating systems;
-you feel so cheap after having used it.
+ -- sailor
%
"wer schmetterlinge lachen hört,
der weiss wie wolken schmecken."
- -- freiherr friedrich von hardenberg
+ -- freiherr friedrich von hardenberg
%
one has to multiply thoughts to the point
where there aren't enough policemen to control them.
- -- stanislaw jerzey lec
+ -- stanislaw jerzey lec
%
until lions have their historians,
tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.
- -- african proverb
+ -- african proverb
%
darwinism is nothing without enough dead bodies.
%
-do micro$oft's total cost of operation calculations
-include total cost of downtime?
-%
"montag, why do you burn books?"
"it's a job like any other, pay is good and there is a lot of variety."
- -- ray bradbury (f451)
+ -- ray bradbury (f451)
%
"the wonderful thing about standards is
that there are so many to choose from."
- -- grace hopper
+ -- grace hopper
%
"politics is the entertainment branch of industry."
- -- frank zappa
-%
-"m.c.s.e": minesweeper consultant & solitaire expert
+ -- frank zappa
%
"sometimes we sit and read other people's interpretations of our
lyrics and think, 'hey, that's pretty good.' if we liked it, we would
keep our mouths shut and just accept the credit as if it was what we
meant all along."
- -- john lennon
+ -- john lennon
%
"never try to explain computers to a layman.
it's easier to explain sex to a virgin."
- -- robert heinlein
-
+ -- robert heinlein
+
(note, however, that virgins tend to know a lot about computers.)
%
"a fundamentalist is someone who hates sin more than he loves virtue."
- -- john h. schaar
+ -- john h. schaar
%
"it is the customary fate of new truths
- to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
- -- thomas huxley
+ to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions."
+ -- thomas huxley
%
"however jewel-like the good will may be in its own right, there is
a morally significant difference between rescuing someone from
a burning building and dropping him from a twelfth-storey window
while trying to rescue him."
- -- thomas nagel
-%
-i'm currently out trying to find myself.
-if i should get back before i return,
-please keep me here.
+ -- thomas nagel
%
"life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
- -- john lennon
+ -- john lennon
%
(on the statement print "42 monkeys"+"1 snake") btw,
both perl and python get this wrong.
perl gives 43 and python gives "42 monkeys1 snake",
when the answer is clearly "41 monkeys and 1 fat snake".
- -- jim fulton
+ -- jim fulton
%
"anyone who is capable of getting themselves made president
should on no account be allowed to do the job"
- -- douglas adams
-%
-i've not lost my mind. it's backed up on tape somewhere.
+ -- douglas adams
%
"if one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again,
there is no use in reading it at all."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
all information contained in the above is false,
for reasons of military security.
%
"i must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini."
- -- alexander woolcott
-%
-you can't assign IP address 127.0.0.1 to the loopback adapter,
-because it is a reserved address for loopback devices.
- -- micro$oft windoze xp professional
+ -- alexander woolcott
%
"i love deadlines. i like the whooshing
sound they make as they fly by."
- -- douglas adams
+ -- douglas adams
%
normaliser unix c'est comme pasteuriser le camembert.
%
"science without religion is lame,
religion without science is blind."
- -- albert einstein
+ -- albert einstein
%
there are only 10 types of people in the world:
those who understand binary and those who don't.
%
why do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
%
-if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
-%
"sobald man über niveau spricht
ist man längst darüber hinweg."
- -- thomas krafft
+ -- thomas krafft
%
will kill for oil!
%
"heuristic is computer science jargon for 'doesn't actually work.'"
- -- charlie reiman
+ -- charlie reiman
%
if voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
- -- revolution books, new york
+ -- revolution books, new york
%
fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
- -- the irish times, washington dc
+ -- the irish times, washington dc
%
"der glaube an den kausalnexus ist der aberglaube"
- -- wittgenstein
+ -- wittgenstein
%
"... alle sätze der logik sagen aber dasselbe. nämlich nichts."
- -- wittgenstein
+ -- wittgenstein
%
"... (ethik und ästhetik sind eins.)"
- -- wittgenstein
+ -- wittgenstein
%
"wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen."
- -- wittgenstein
+ -- wittgenstein
%
in the beginning was the word,
and the word was content-type: text/plain
%
"it is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."
- -- voltaire
+ -- voltaire
%
"when in doubt, parenthesize. at the very least it will let some
poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi."
- -- larry wall
+ -- larry wall
%
infinite loop: see 'loop, infinite'.
loop, infinite: see 'infinite loop'.
%
"the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
- -- oscar wilde
-%
-"the 'volatile' keyword
- is implemented syntactically
- but not semantically"
- -- documentation of m$ visual c, around 1992
-%
-security at micro$oft: how do we secure a billion dollar profit?
+ -- oscar wilde
%
seen on an advertising for an elaborate swiss men's watch:
"almost as complicated as a woman. except it's on time"
%
"i doubt larry wall ever uses strict."
- -- frederick heckel
-%
-micro$oft: "you've got questions? we've got dancing paperclips."
-%
-micro$oft could shit in a box, and most people would buy it.
+ -- frederick heckel
%
eleventh law of acoustics:
in a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between
lead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost. however,
of course, this all means jack when you listen to pink floyd.
%
-it is ok to let your mind go blank,
-but please turn off the sound.
+it is ok to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
%
"our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet,
we have not learned its nature; it is our future that lays down the
%
"we are like shop windows in which we are continually arranging,
concealing or illuminating the supposed qualities other ascribe to us
- -- in order to deceive ourselves."
+ -- in order to deceive ourselves."
- friedrich nietzsche
%
the english take english for granted.
%
#include <signature.h>
%
-<!--#include file="~/.signature"-->
-%
-<span tal:replace="here/signature" />
-%
-use RFC822::Signature;
-%
"a scientist once wrote that all truth passes through three stages:
first it is ridiculed, then violently opposed and eventually,
accepted as self-evident."
- -- schopenhauer
+ -- schopenhauer
%
"president thieu says he'll quit if he doesn't get more than 50% of
the vote. in a democracy, that's not called quitting."
- -- the washington post
+ -- the washington post
%
"not the truth in whose possession any man is, or thinks he is, but
the honest effort he has made to find out the truth, is what
constitutes the worth of man."
- -- gotthold lessing
+ -- gotthold lessing
%
"if confronted with a choice between all the truth in god's right hand
and the ever live struggle for truth, coupled with eternal error, in
god's left, i would choose the left."
- -- gotthold lessing
+ -- gotthold lessing
%
"lessing was a heretics' heretic"
- -- walter kaufmann
+ -- walter kaufmann
%
before he died, rabbi zusya said: "in the world to come they will not
ask me, 'why were you not moses?' they will ask me, 'why were you not
%
"alles sollte so einfach, wie möglich gemacht sein,
aber nicht einfacher."
- -- albert einstein
+ -- albert einstein
%
"ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp,
or what's a heaven for?"
- -- robert browning
+ -- robert browning
%
"if you can dream it, you can do it"
- -- walt disney
+ -- walt disney
%
"the unexamined life is not worth living"
- -- platon
-%
-bill gates, 1984: "640 k ought to be enough"
-bill gates, 1995: "the internet is not a primary goal for pc usage"
-bill gates, 1999: "linux has no impact on microsoft's strategy"
-bill gates, 2004: "we promise to solve the spam problem in two years"
+ -- platon
%
officer, arrest that man! he's whistling a copyrighted song.
%
"the truth is rarely pure and never simple. modern life would be very
tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete
impossibility!"
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"all women become like their mothers. that is their tragedy. no man
does. that's his."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"if i am occasionally a little overdressed, i make up for it by being
always immensely over-educated."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"i never travel without my diary. one should always have something
sensational to read on the train."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"i never go without my dinner. no one ever does, except vegetarians
and people like that."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"in all unimportant matters, style, not sincerity, is the essential.
in all important matters, style, not sincerity, is the essential."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of
physical weakness in the old."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"i am not in favour of long engagements. they give people the
opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage,
which i think is never advisable."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"i dislike arguments of any kind. they are always vulgar, and often
convincing."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"i can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. there
is something unfair about its use. it is hitting below the
intellect."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"i like wagner's music better than anybody's. it is so loud that one
can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"most people become bankrupt through having invested too heavily in
the prose of life. to have ruined one's self over poetry is an
honour."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"a cigarette is the perfect type of pleasure.
it is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"never trust a woman who wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a
woman over thirty-five who is fond of pink ribbons. it always means
they have a history."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"moderation is a fatal thing. enough is as bad as a meal. more than
enough is as good as a feast."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"i hate vulgar realism in literature. the man who could call a spade
a spade should be compelled to use one. it is the only thing he is
fit for."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"one should never do anything that
one cannot talk about after dinner."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"if a man treats life artistically, his brain is his heart."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"to get back my youth i would do anything in the world, except take
exercise, get up early, or be respectable."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
stupidity management for the superuser
is a user space issue in unix systems.
- -- alan cox
+ -- alan cox
%
a: no.
q: should i include quotations after my reply?
"man sagt nicht 'nichts!', man sagt dafür 'jenseits' oder 'gott'."
- friedrich nietzsche
%
-"the vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"i have made good judgments in the past.
- i have made good judgments in the future."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"we have a firm commitment to nato, we are a part of nato.
- we have a firm commitment to europe. we are a part of europe."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"we are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"for nasa, space is still a high priority."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"quite frankly, teachers are the only profession
- that teach our children."
- - george w. bush
-%
"it isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
- dan quayle
%
-"it's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
- - george w. bush
-%
-"africa is a nation..."
- - george w. bush
-%
"all unser übel kommt daher,
daß wir nicht allein sein können."
- -- schopenhauer
+ -- schopenhauer
%
"we are trapped in the belly of this horrible machine,
and the machine is bleeding to death."
- -- godspeed you black emperor!
+ -- godspeed you black emperor!
%
love your enemies; they'll go crazy
trying to figure out what you're up to.
%
"violence is the last refuge of the incompetent"
- -- isaac asimov
-%
-the irony is that bill gates claims to be making a stable operating
-system and linus torvalds claims to be trying to take over the world.
+ -- isaac asimov
%
the security, stability and reliability of a computer system
is reciprocally proportional to
"a man who does not realise
that he is half an animal
is only half a man."
- -- thornton wilder
+ -- thornton wilder
%
who's general failure, and why's he reading my disk?
%
"be the change you want to see in the world"
- -- mahatma gandhi
-%
-micro$oft windoze is like an air-conditioner:
-it breaks down if you open a window.
-%
-"never underestimate the bandwidth of
- a station wagon full of tapes careening down the highway."
- -- andrew s. tanenbaum
-%
-"all language designers are arrogant. goes with the territory..."
- -- larry wall
-%
-the best way to accelerate
-a computer running windoze
-is at 9.81 ms^-2
+ -- mahatma gandhi
%
"i have smoked pot. it is a stupid business, like masturbation."
- -- thomas pynchon
+ -- thomas pynchon
%
"every day is long. 86400 doesn't fit in a short."
%
"computer science is no more about computers
than astronomy is about telescopes."
- -- edsgar w. dijkstra
+ -- edsgar w. dijkstra
%
"we all know linux is great...
it does infinite loops in 5 seconds."
- -- linus torvalds
+ -- linus torvalds
%
a qui sait comprendre, peu de mots suffisent.
- -- intelligenti pauca
+ -- intelligenti pauca
%
the reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream
is because it is so shallow.
seminars, n.:
from "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.
%
-the only secure micro$oft software is
-what's still shrink-wrapped in the warehouse.
-%
unix, because rebooting is for adding new hardware.
%
perl -e 'print "The earth is a disk!\n" if ( "a" == "b" );'
%
whatever you do will be insignificant,
but it is very important that you do it.
- -- mahatma gandhi
+ -- mahatma gandhi
%
i welcome your constructive criticism and corrections.
%
"if they can get you asking the wrong questions,
they don't have to worry about answers."
- -- thomas pynchon
+ -- thomas pynchon
%
"out of the crooked timber of humanity,
no straight thing was ever made."
- -- imanuel kant
+ -- imanuel kant
%
"it is impossible to foresee the consequences of being clever."
- -- cristopher strachey
-%
-... and don't get caught in the .NET!
+ -- cristopher strachey
%
for years, we have thought that a million monkeys typing at a million
typewriters would eventually produce the complete works of shakespeare.
%
beware of bugs in the above code;
i have only proved it correct, not tried it.
- -- donald e. knuth
+ -- donald e. knuth
%
i must confess, I was born at a very early age.
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
time wounds all heels.
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
it is better to have loft and lost
than to never have loft at all.
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
a woman is an occasional pleasure
but a cigar is always a smoke.
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
one morning i shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
how he got into my pyjamas i'll never know.
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
what do you mean, it's not packaged in debian?
%
"self-denial is the shining sore
on the leprous body of christianity."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"no woman should ever be quite accurate about her age.
it looks so calculating."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the well-bred contradict other people.
the wise contradict themselves."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"a man's very highest moment is, i have no doubt at all, when he
kneels in the dust, and beats his breast, and tells all the sins of
his life."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"alas, i am dying beyond my means."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"crying is the refuge of plain women but the ruin of pretty ones."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"she is absolutely inadmissible into society. many a woman has a past,
but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time
to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the public is wonderfully tolerant.
it forgives everything except genius."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"frank harris has been received
in all the great houses -- once!"
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"i sometimes think that god
in creating man
somewhat overestimated his ability."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the husbands of very beautiful women
belong to the criminal classes."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"imagination is a quality given a man
to compensate him for what he is not,
and a sense of humour was provided
to console him for what he is."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love:
it is the faithless who know love's tragedies."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the intellect is not a serious thing, and never has been.
it is an instrument on which one plays, that is all."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"a kiss may ruin a human life."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the mind of the thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing.
it is like a bric-à-brac shop, all monsters and dust,
with everything priced above its proper value."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the liar at any rate recognises that recreation, not instruction, is
the aim of conversation, and is a far more civilised being than the
blockhead who loudly expresses his disbelief in a story which is told
simply for the amusement of the company."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"literature always anticipates life.
it does not copy it, but moulds it to its purpose.
the nineteenth century, as we know it,
is largely an invention of balzac."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"when a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband.
when a man marries again it is because he adored his first wife.
women try their luck; men risk theirs."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better,
they don't know anything at all."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"women love us for our defects.
if we have enough of them,
they will forgive us everything,
even our gigantic intellects."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"it is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"of course the music is a great difficulty.
you see, if one plays good music, people don't listen,
and if one plays bad music people don't talk."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"no work of art ever puts forward views.
views belong to people
who are not artists."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the condition of perfection is idleness.
the aim of perfection is youth."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the sick do not ask
if the hand that smoothes their pillow is pure,
nor the dying care
if the lips that touch their brow have known the kiss of sin."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"men always want to be a woman's first love.
women have a more subtle instinct:
what they like is to be a man's last romance."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"nothing can cure the soul but the senses,
just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"never speak disrespectfully of society.
only people who can't get into it do that."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"to have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact,
talk to every woman as if you loved her,
and to every man as if he bored you."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"one should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
if she tells that, she will tell anything."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"vulgarity is simply the conduct of other people."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"wickedness is a myth
invented by good people
to account for the curious attraction of others."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the strength of women comes from the fact
that psychology cannot explain us.
men can be analyzed, women merely adored."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"i've got a bike,
you can ride it if you like,
it's got a basket. a bell that rings, and things to make it look good.
i'd give it to you if i could,
but i borrowed it."
- -- syd barrett, 1967
+ -- syd barrett, 1967
%
this space intentionally left blank.
%
this space intentionally left occupied.
%
-micro$oft windoze - the best solitaire game you can buy.
-%
-last year, out in california, at a pc users group, there was a demo of
-smart speech recognition software. before the demonstrator could begin
-his demo, a voice called out from the audience: "format c, return.
-yes, return." a short demo it was.
-%
*** important disclaimer:
by sending an email to any address, that will eventually cause it to
end up in my inbox without much interaction, you are agreeing that:
-
+
- i am by definition, "the intended recipient"
- all information in the email is mine to do with as i see fit and
make such financial profit, political mileage, or good joke as it
- this overrides any disclaimer or statement of confidentiality that
may be included on your message.
%
-my other computer is your windows box.
-%
-echo '9,J8HD,fDGG8B@?:536FC5=8@I;C5?@H5B0D@5GBIELD54DL>@8L?:5GDEJ8LDG1' |\
- sed ss,s50EBsg | tr 0-M 'p.wBt SgiIlxmLhan:o,erDsduv/cyP'
-%
-micro$oft encrypts your windows nt password when stored on a windows
-ce device. but if you look carefully at their encryption algorithm,
-they simply xor the password with "susageP", Pegasus spelled
-backwards. Pegasus is the code name of windows ce. this is so pathetic
-it's staggering.
-%
"an intellectual is someone who has found
something more interesting than sex."
- -- edgar wallace
-%
-after you install windows xp, you have the option to create user
-accounts. if you create user accounts, by default, they will have an
-account type of administrator with no password. way to go!
-%
-the remote desktop feature of windows xp is really nice (and
-*novel*!). a micro$oft consultant can *remotely* disable the personal
-firewall and control the system. we'll ignore the fact that this
-tampering with the firewall is not logged, and more importantly, that
-the firewall isn't restored when the clowns from redmond are done with
-their job.
+ -- edgar wallace
%
"oh what a tangled web we weave,
when first we practice to deceive.
but my how we improve the score,
as we practice more and more."
- -- sir walter scott
+ -- sir walter scott
%
"you grabbed my hand and we fell into it,
like a daydream - or a fever."
- -- godspeed you black emperor!
+ -- godspeed you black emperor!
%
there is no place like ~
%
"welcome to american airlines, sir. here's your avocado - remember to
keep it turned on and with you at all times. please turn your luggage
over to the armadillos for rootling."
- -- http://azure.humbug.org.au/~aj/armadillos.txt
+ -- http://azure.humbug.org.au/~aj/armadillos.txt
%
"security here. yes, ma'am. yes. groucho glasses. yes, we're on it.
c'mon, guys. somebody gave an aardvark a nose-cut: somebody who
can't deal with deconstructionist humor. code blue."
- -- http://azure.humbug.org.au/~aj/armadillos.txt
+ -- http://azure.humbug.org.au/~aj/armadillos.txt
%
man muss noch chaos in sich haben
um einen tanzenden stern zu gebähren.
- -- friedrich nietzsche
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
%
die wahrheit ist selten
auf seiten der wahrscheinlichkeit.
- -- heinrich v. kleist
-%
-linux is like a wigwam.
-no gates, no windoze, and an apache inside.
+ -- heinrich v. kleist
%
it has been said that there are only two businesses
that refer to customers as users:
%
"there are two major products that come out of berkeley: lsd and unix."
one caused me an addiction
- -- fyodor
+ -- fyodor
%
"there are two major products that come out of berkeley: lsd and unix.
we don't believe this to be a coincidence."
- -- jeremy s. anderson
-%
-if loving linux is wrong, i don't want to be right.
-%
-http://www.vcnet.com/bms/
-%
-http://kirch.net/unix-nt/
+ -- jeremy s. anderson
%
"sailing is, after all, a kind of grace, a kind of magic."
- -- phil berman
+ -- phil berman
%
a c programmer asked whether computers have buddha's nature.
as the answer, the master did "rm -rf" on the programmer's home
the rainbow connection
the lovers, the dreamers,
and me!
- -- kermit
+ -- kermit
%
i wish this wish not to be granted!
- -- achilles (hofstadter's geb)
+ -- achilles (hofstadter's geb)
%
kermit: why are there so many songs about rainbows?
fozzy: that's part of what rainbows do.
%
"nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit."
- -- seneca
-%
-when compared to windoze, unix is an operating system.
+ -- seneca
%
it may look like i'm just sitting here doing nothing.
but i'm really actively waiting
opinions stated above are yours. you cannot imagine why you ever felt
otherwise.
%
-it's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.
-%
the micro$oft hoover: finally, a product that's supposed to suck!
%
(a)bort, (r)etry, (p)retend this never happened
%
"there's someone in my head but it's not me."
- -- pink floyd, the dark side of the moon, 1972
+ -- pink floyd, the dark side of the moon, 1972
%
the reason that every major university
maintains a department of mathematics
institutionalizing all those people.
%
"in just seven days, i can make you a man!"
- -- the rocky horror picture show
+ -- the rocky horror picture show
%
tempt not a desperate man.
- -- william shakespeare
-%
-scientists will study your brain to learn
-more about your distant cousin, man.
-%
-micro$oft dns service terminates abnormally
-when it receives a response
-to a dns query that was never made.
-fix information: run your dns service on a different platform.
- -- bugtraq
+ -- william shakespeare
%
in africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the
ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. anthropologists
call this a form of primitive self-expression. in america they call
it golf.
%
-nasa spent 2 billion dollars on the research of a ballpoint pen that
-could write on everything, even upside down, under water, or at
-extreme temperatures; the russians used a pencil.
- (but see: http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp)
-%
obviously i was either onto something, or on something.
- -- larry wall on the creation of perl
+ -- larry wall on the creation of perl
%
if god had meant for us to be naked,
we would have been born that way.
%
fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
- -- victor hugo
+ -- victor hugo
%
kill ugly radio
- -- frank zappa
-%
-linux: because a pc is a terrible thing to waste
+ -- frank zappa
%
"time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana."
- -- groucho marx
-(panda eats shoots and leaves)
+ -- groucho marx
%
it's as bad as you think, and they are out to get you.
%
have you drugged your kids today?
%
"a compliment is like a kiss through a veil."
- -- victor hugo
+ -- victor hugo
%
"si tu veux construire un bateau, il ne faut pas réunir des hommes
-pour aller chercher le bois et les outils et les préparer à se
-répartir les différents travaux. Il faut plutôt leur donner l'envie,
-la passion de la mer infinie."
- -- antoine de saint-exupéry
+ pour aller chercher le bois et les outils et les préparer à se
+ répartir les différents travaux. Il faut plutôt leur donner l'envie,
+ la passion de la mer infinie."
+ -- antoine de saint-exupéry
%
"and the sea isn't green
and i love the queen
and what exactly is a dream?
and what exactly is a joke?"
- -- syd barrett
+ -- syd barrett
%
"driving with a destination
is like having sex to have children"
- -- backwater wayne miller
+ -- backwater wayne miller
%
"memory is like an orgasm.
it's a lot better
if you don't have to fake it."
- -- seymour cray commenting on virtual memory
-
+ -- seymour cray commenting on virtual memory
+
"but virtual memory still gets the job done."
- -- gr
+ -- gr
%
hi! i'm a .signature virus!
copy me into your ~/.signature to help me spread!
"it is the mark of an educated mind
to be able to entertain a thought
without accepting it."
- -- aristoteles
+ -- aristoteles
%
"it would be truly surprising
if sound were not capable of suggesting colour,
if colours could not give the idea of the melody,
if sound and colour were not adequate to express ideas."
- -- claude debussy
+ -- claude debussy
%
"you raise the blade, you make the change
you rearrange me till i'm sane.
you lock the door, and throw away the key,
there's someone in my head but it's not me."
- -- pink floyd, 1972
+ -- pink floyd, 1972
%
"in any hierarchy, each individual rises
to his own level of incompetence,
and then remains there."
- -- murphy (after dr. laurence j. peter)
+ -- murphy (after dr. laurence j. peter)
%
"gilmour's guitar sounds good
whether you've got a bottle of cider in your hand
or a keyboard and a mouse."
- -- prof. bruce maxwell
+ -- prof. bruce maxwell
%
"and if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
you shout and no one seems to hear
and if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
i'll see you on the dark side of the moon."
- -- pink floyd, 1972
+ -- pink floyd, 1972
%
"and no one sings me lullabies,
and no one makes me close my eyes,
and so i throw the windows wide,
and call to you across the sky"
- -- pink floyd, 1971
+ -- pink floyd, 1971
%
"friendships last when each friend thinks he has
a slight superiority over the other."
- -- honoré de balzac
+ -- honoré de balzac
%
"the only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of
the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that
I have always cultivated."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
heisenberg may have been here.
%
"when I was a boy I was told
that anybody could become president.
now i'm beginning to believe it."
- -- clarence darrow
+ -- clarence darrow
%
"even if you persuade me, you won't persuade me."
- -- aristophanes
+ -- aristophanes
%
"a mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."
- -- paul erdös
+ -- paul erdös
%
"my father, a good man, told me:
'never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it.'"
- -- erich maria remarque
+ -- erich maria remarque
%
"syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon."
- -- epigrams in programming
+ -- epigrams in programming
%
"imagine if every thursday your shoes exploded if you
tied them the usual way. this happens to us all the time
with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining."
- -- jeff raskin
+ -- jeff raskin
%
"god is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
- -- voltaire
+ -- voltaire
%
"no problem is so formidable
that you can't just walk away from it."
- -- c. schulz
+ -- c. schulz
%
may the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits.
%
we elect a six-pack of presidents.
each one serves until they screw up,
at which point they rotate."
- -- dennis miller
-%
-an avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume.
+ -- dennis miller
%
there's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
%
"i wish there was a knob on the tv to turn up the intelligence.
there's a knob called 'brightness', but it doesn't seem to work."
- -- gallagher
-%
-click the start menu and select 'shut down.'
+ -- gallagher
%
"in the stage of grand illusion
you walked into my life
out of my dreams."
- -- david bowie
-%
-echo '[dO%O+38%O+PO/d0<0]Fi22os0CC4BA64E418CE7l0xAP' | dc
-%
-it said "needs windoze 98 or better," so i installed linux.
-%
-oxymoron: micro$oft works
+ -- david bowie
%
"it usually takes more than three weeks
to prepare a good impromptu speech.
- -- mark twain
+ -- mark twain
%
"if beethoven's seventh symphony
is not by some means abridged,
it will soon fall into disuse."
- -- philip hale, boston music critic, 1837
+ -- philip hale, boston music critic, 1837
%
don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
%
never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
%
"mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images."
- -- jean cocteau
+ -- jean cocteau
%
all of you that believe in telekinetics, raise my hand!
%
of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible
to systematise confusion and contribute to
the total discrediting of the world of reality."
- -- salvador dali
+ -- salvador dali
%
i'd rather be riding a high speed tractor
with a beer on my lap,
and a six pack of girls next to me.
%
"women who want to be equal to men lack ambition."
- -- timothy leary
+ -- timothy leary
%
"no, 'eureka' is greek for 'this bath is too hot.'"
- -- dr. who
+ -- dr. who
%
"the human brain is like an enormous fish --
it is flat and slimy
and has gills through which it can see."
- -- monty python
+ -- monty python
%
the only real advantage to punk music is
that nobody can whistle it.
%
"this week dragged past me so slowly;
the days fell on their knees..."
- -- david bowie
+ -- david bowie
%
"when faced with a new problem, the wise algorithmist
will first attempt to classify it as np-complete.
this will avoid many tears and tantrums as
algorithm after algorithm fails."
- -- g. niruta
+ -- g. niruta
%
i'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
%
humpty was pushed.
%
-a gourmet concerned about calories
-is like a punter eyeing the clock.
-%
-micro$oft is to operating systems & security
-what mcdonalds is to gourmet cuisine.
+a gourmet concerned about calories is like a punter eyeing the clock.
%
"in the country of the blind,
the one-eyed man is not king.
he is taken to be a hallucinating lunatic."
-marshall mcluhan
%
-"in contrast to the what-you-see-is-what-you-get philosophy,
- unix is the you-asked-for-it,-you-got-it operating system."
- --scott lee
-%
la lune, c'est comme les canards
il faut aimer caresser les chats
pour avoir envie d'y aller.
%
-"micro$oft productivity software"
- - see reductio ad absurdum, conclusions.
-%
-no micro$oft components were used
-in the creation or posting of this email.
-therefore, it is 100% virus free
-and does not use html by default (yuck!).
-%
"information superhighway"
is just an anagram for
"i'm on a huge wispy rhino fart".
%
-micro$oft windoze: proof that p. t. barnum was correct.
-%
chaos reigns within.
reflect, repent, reboot.
order shall return.
our existence of its rich ambiguity.
--friedrich nietzsche
%
------BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
-Version: 3.12
-GCS/IT d- s: a-- C++(++++) UL+++(++++) P+ L++++ E--- W- N+ o-- K !w O-
-M- V PS+(+++) PE(--) Y+ PGP++ t- 5 !X R- !tv b+(++) DI--(+) D++(+++)
-G+ e>++++ h* r+>++ y+++++>+(++)
-------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
-%
- . `___
-(o- (o- (o- (o- (o- (o- (o- /\/| | |
-//\ //\ //\ //\ //\ //\ //\ ` /\/\/l-+-|
-v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ .` /\/\/|_|_|
-%
-microsoft: for when quality, reliability, and security
- just aren't that important!
-%
-perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5,(41*2),sqrt(7056),(unpack(c,H)-2),oct(115),10);'
-%
-windoze 98: <n.> useless extension to a minor patch release for 32-bit
- extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit
- operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written
- by a 2-bit company that can't stand for 1 bit of competition.
-%
"... doch warum sollte nicht jeder einzelne
aus seinem leben ein kunstwerk machen koennen?"
- -- michel foucault
+ -- michel foucault
%
"there are more things in heaven and earth, horatio,
than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
- -- hamlet
+ -- hamlet
%
because light travels faster than sound,
some people appear to be intelligent,
"for art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to
exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable:
intoxication."
- -- friedrich nietzsche
-%
-redistribution of this email via the
-microsoft network is prohibited.
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
%
"with sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. however, this is not
necessarily a good idea. it is hard to be sure where they are going
to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly
overhead."
- -- rfc 1925
+ -- rfc 1925
%
echo Prpv a\'rfg cnf har cvcr | tr Pacfghnrvp Cnpstuaeic
%
"common sense is the collection
of prejudices acquired by age eighteen"
- -- albert einstein
+ -- albert einstein
%
the unix philosophy basically involves
giving you enough rope to hang yourself.
and then some more, just to be sure.
%
-the heineken uncertainty principle:
+the uncertainty principle:
you can never be sure how many
beers you had last night.
%
death by slow starvation. the old principle: who does not work shall
not eat, has been replaced by a new one: who does not obey shall not
eat."
- -- leon trotsky, 1937
+ -- leon trotsky, 1937
%
if god is perfect, why did he create discontinuous functions?
%
"a woman is like your shadow;
follow her, she flies;
fly from her, she follows."
- -- sébastien-roch-nicolas chamfort
+ -- sébastien-roch-nicolas chamfort
%
philosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
%
%
"prisons are built with stones of law,
brothels with bricks of religion."
- -- william blake
+ -- william blake
%
people with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
%
"good advice is something a man gives
when he is too old to set a bad example.
- -- la rouchefoucauld
+ -- la rouchefoucauld
%
"love is a grave mental disease."
- -- platon
+ -- platon
%
"marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly."
- -- voltaire
+ -- voltaire
%
"this sentence contradicts itself -- no actually it doesn't."
- -- douglas hofstadter
+ -- douglas hofstadter
%
"once ... in the wilds of afghanistan, i lost my corkscrew, and we
were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days."
- -- w. c. fields, "my little chickadee"
+ -- w. c. fields, "my little chickadee"
%
the only difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman
is that the car salesman knows he's lying.
apt-get source --compile gentoo
%
military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool
than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
%
"i like young girls. their stories are shorter."
- -- tom mcguane
+ -- tom mcguane
%
"let me take you down, 'cause i'm going to strawberry fields.
nothing is real and nothing to get hungabout.
strawberry fields forever."
- -- the beatles
+ -- the beatles
%
"picture yourself in a boat on a river
with tangerine trees and marmelade skies..."
- -- the beatles
+ -- the beatles
%
"everyone smiles as you drift past the flower
that grows so incredibly high."
- -- the beatles
+ -- the beatles
%
"it always takes longer than you expect, even when
you take into account hofstadter's law."
- -- douglas hofstadter
+ -- douglas hofstadter
%
an egg has the shortest sex-life of all: if gets laid once; it gets
eaten once. it also has to come in a box with 11 others, and the
only person who will sit on its face is its mother.
%
be careful of reading health books -- you might die of a misprint.
- -- mark twain
+ -- mark twain
%
half a bee, philosophically, must ipso facto half not be.
but half the bee has got to be, vis-a-vis its entity. you see?
but can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee,
when half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?
- -- monty python
+ -- monty python
%
"if you stew apples like cranberries,
they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does."
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
"in diving to the bottom of pleasure
we bring up more gravel than pearls."
- -- honoré de balzac
+ -- honoré de balzac
%
"it is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason
that it is more difficult to be witty every day
than to say pretty things from time to time."
- -- honoré de balzac
+ -- honoré de balzac
%
"when women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes;
when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing,
not even our virtues."
- -- honoré de balzac
+ -- honoré de balzac
%
"i think, therefore i'm single"
- -- lizz winstead
+ -- lizz winstead
%
"a woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking
his retreat."
- -- oscar wilde
+ -- oscar wilde
%
"the greatest trick the devil ever pulled
was convincing the world he didn't exist."
- -- verbal kint (the usual suspects)
+ -- verbal kint (the usual suspects)
%
"the problem with america is stupidity. i'm not saying there should
be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take
the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve
itself?"
- -- seen on irc
+ -- seen on irc
%
"work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do.
play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do."
- -- mark twain
+ -- mark twain
%
"those are my principles, and if you don't like them...
well, I have others."
- -- groucho marx
+ -- groucho marx
%
murphy's law is recursive.
washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
%
"i don't think so," said rene descartes. just then, he vanished.
%
-"a mac is like a prostitute. sure they look good,
- but your wallet will feel a lot lighter after getting one."
- -- psychonate on irc
-%
god is dead.
- -- nietzsche
+ -- nietzsche
nietzsche is dead.
- -- god
+ -- god
nietzsche is god.
- -- dead
-%
-"you don't sew with a fork, so i see no reason
- to eat with knitting needles."
- -- miss piggy, on eating chinese food
+ -- dead
%
"they redundantly repeated themselves over and over,
incessantly without end and ad infinitum"
idioten umgeben ist, merkt das aus einem gewissen grund nicht."
-- kurt götz
%
-"try to remove the color-problem by
- restarting your computer several times."
- -- microsoft internet explorer's readme.txt
-%
-"on the other hand, with the advent of msvc 5, i can claim i use
- emacs because it's smaller and more efficient." :-)"
- -- darin johnson
-%
"william blake, you're a dead man!"
-- nobody
%
for merit itself is offensive."
-- friedrich nietzsche
%
-never trust an operating system
-for which you do not have the source.
- -- source unknown
-%
"i am a deeply superficial person."
-- andy warhol
%
-"half a bee, philosophically,
- must ipso facto half not be."
- -- monty python
-%
it is better to have loved a short man
than never to have loved a tall.
%
-<n3tg0d> has /usr/bin/emacs been put into /etc/shells yet? :P
-%
quick!! act as if nothing has happened!
%
-"people don't want a president to say 'never'.
- using violence is never the first choice of the president".
- -- george w. bush
-%
"i always choose my friends for their good looks and my enemies for
their good intellects. man cannot be too careful in his choice of
enemies."
-- oscar wilde
%
-micro$oft windows psychic edition:
-we will tell you where you are going tomorrow.
-%
"the search for the perfect martini is a fraud. the perfect martini
is a belt of gin from the bottle; anything else is the decadent
trappings of civilization."
to eat with knitting needles."
-- miss piggy, on eating chinese food
%
-"the less you know about computers the more you want micro$oft!"
- -- micro$oft ad campaign, circa 1996
-(proof that micro$oft's advertising _isn't_ dishonest!)
-%
-"a woman does not want the truth; what is truth to women? from the
- beginning, nothing has been more alien, repugnant, and hostile to
- woman than the truth - her great art is the lie, her highest
- concern is mere appearance and beauty."
- -- friedrich nietzsche
-%
"if java had true garbage collection,
most programs would delete themselves upon execution."
-- robert sewell
"es ist gut, eine sache doppelt auszudrücken und ihr einen
rechten und linken fuß zu geben. auf einem bein kann die wahrheit
zwar stehen; mit zweien aber wird sie gehen und herumkommen."
- -- friedrich nietzsche
-%
-"vista is evidentally latvian for "hen", and "perating system", that
- is, OS without the o, means "system for making eggs." so vista is at
- least useful come breakfast time?"
- -- kit la touche
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
%
a common mistake that people make
when trying to design something completely foolproof
to find somewhere to settle down and make sense.
-- douglas adams, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy"
%
-"there are lots of reasons not to use linux.
- there just aren't any good ones."
- --steven j. vaughan-nichols
-%
"in the figure of the president, george w. bush, the incompetence,
stupidity, and sheer inhumanity that characterize so much of
america's money-mad corporate elite find their quintessentially
with a champagne bottle cork."
-- arky
%
-"ich bin ein berliner!" (i am a jelly donut)
- -- john fitzgerald kennedy
-%
"she was rather too intelligent and competent-looking to be
considered entirely beautiful, but all the more attractive because
of it."
blur as if all those grains of sand had lost their bearings and were
falling all over each other just trying to get out of the way to make
room for the next moment, or instant, or tick of the clock"
--- mc 900 ft jesus (http://www.theendoftheworld.org/900/spider1.shtml)
+-- mc 900 ft jesus (http://stuff.madduck.net/pub/misc/fun/newmoon.txt)
%
"for her, the dashed lines on the freeway were like grains of sand
slipping, through an hour glass, ticking away the seconds, the
minutes, and the hours of her life. if she got home a few minutes
early on any given afternoon, it gave her a thrill as if she had
stolen a little something back from death."
--- mc 900 ft jesus (http://www.theendoftheworld.org/900/spider1.shtml)
+-- mc 900 ft jesus (http://stuff.madduck.net/pub/misc/fun/newmoon.txt)
%
"health? what good is your health when you're otherwise an idiot?"
-- theodor w. adorno
and agree to my disclaimer of all warranties, express or implied,
as well as disclaimers of all liability, direct, indirect,
consequential or incidental, that may arise from the installation
- of this brick into your building." -- seen on irc
+ of this brick into your building." -- seen on irc
%
"academia is really just a way to help those with high volumes of
nothing to say to social status."
bleating from the lips of the flock."
-- thomas pynchon, gravity's rainbow
%
-"we did rate the microsoft security researcher as
- less-bad than the people who prepare the carcasses for dissection in
- biology laboratories."
+"we did rate the microsoft security researcher as less-bad than the
+ people who prepare the carcasses for dissection in biology
+ laboratories."
-- michael moyer, executive editor of _popular science_
%
"whale feces or working at microsoft? i would probably be the whale
%
spooning leads to forking
-- seen on a t-shirt by david & goliath
+%
+i don't want to get myself into a hot babe situation.
+ -- jonathan mcdowell, #debian-uk, 6 jul 2009
+%
+no. no musicals. i loathe musicals. i never did have a plan for
+doing one. my cousin made me sit through some fucking musical twice.
+i just hate them. they bore me stiff. i think they’re just horrible.
+even _hair_. and they're always lousy music.
+ -— john lennon, _the lost interviews_ by ray connolly
+%
+"politicians and diapers should be changed often,
+ and for the same reason."
+ -- mark twain
+%
+"a bank is an institution will to lend you money,
+ provided you can prove that you don't need it."
+ -- mark twain
+%
+"alles gackert, aber wer will noch still
+ auf dem nest sitzen um eier zu brüten?"
+ -- friedrich wilhelm nietzsche
+%
+takt ist der auf das benehmen angewandte gute geschmack.
+ -- nicolas de chamfort
+%
+"die ideen, für die wir bereit wären, durchs feuer zu gehen,
+ sind oft nur der grund, das feuer zu legen."
+ -- jeannine luczak
+%
+"as if you could kill time without injuring eternity."
+ -- henry david thoreau
+%
+if a man in a forest speaks his mind freely
+and there is no woman to hear it
+is he still wrong?
+%
+sent from my private jet.
+%
+for four-fifths of our history,
+our planet was populated by pond scum.
+ -- j.w. schopf
+%
+i find television very educating.
+every time somebody turns on the set,
+I go into the other room and read a book.
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it
+requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success.
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+to you i'm an atheist; to god, i'm the loyal opposition.
+ -- woody allen
+%
+suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of congress.
+But I repeat myself.
+ -- mark twain
+%
+too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
+ -- albert camus
+%
+Q: what's the difference between America and a yoghurt?
+A: leave one standing for hundreds of years and it develops a culture.
projects / etc / quotes.git / blobdiff