+# vim:tw=70
+%
+this product is under strict quality contril with perfect packing and
+quality when leving the factory.please keep away from damp.high
+temperature or sun expose.If found any detectives when purchasing.
+please return the productby airmail to our administration section and
+inform the time, place.and store of this purchase for our
+improvement.We shall give you a satisfactory reply.Thanks for your
+patronage and welcome your comments.
+ -- http://www.engrish.com
+%
+"life moves pretty fast. if you don't stop and look around once in
+ a while, you could miss it."
+ -- ferris bueller
+%
+"it has been said about the EPO that if you fart in front of their
+ building, you are granted a patent on 'gas tank depressurizing by
+ opening a venting pipe.'"
+ -- gyrosgeier on #debian-devel
+%
+drink canada dry! you might not succeed, but it *is* fun trying.
+%
+"emacs sucks, literally, not an insult, just a comment that it's
+ large enough to have a noticeable gravitational pull..."
+ -- mercury on #debian-devel
+%
+if you find a spelling mistake in the above, you get to keep it.
+%
+beauty, brains, availability, personality; pick any two.
+%
+"the duration of passion is proportionate
+ with the original resistance of the woman."
+ -- honoré de balzac
+%
+"das internet wurde konzipiert, um einem atomschlag standzuhalten.
+ leider hatte kein militärstratege mit der deutschen telekom
+ gerechnet..."
+ -- attila radnai
+%
+"next the statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the
+ nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those
+ conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and
+ refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by
+ convince himself that the war is just, and will thank god for the
+ better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque
+ self-deception."
+ -- mark twain
+%
+in seattle, washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that
+is over six feet in length.
+%
+when everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
+%
+"the question of whether computers can think
+ is like the question of whether submarines can swim."
+ -- edsgar w. dijkstra
+%
+the early bird may get the worm,
+but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
+%
+on the other hand, you have different fingers.
+%
+remember, half the people are below average.
+%
+i feel like i'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
+%
+plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
+%
+fitter, healthier, more productive
+like a pig, in a cage, on antibiotics
+ -- radiohead
+%
+"you know you're a hopeless geek when you misspell 'date' as 'data'"
+ -- branden robinson
+%
+"if a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
+ and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort,
+ and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
+ then the socket packet pocket has an error to report."
+ -- <speedstream>
+%
+"i like .net for the same reason i like gentoo. it keeps all the
+ people with no clue from writing c code, which is much harder for me
+ to identify and eliminate from my systems. in the same way that
+ gentoo gives those people a place to be that isn't in debian"
+ -- andrew suffield
+%
+"all i know is that i'm being sued for unfair business
+ practices by micro$oft. hello pot? it's kettle on line two."
+ -- michael robertson
+%
+"if you are going to run a rinky-dink distro made by a couple of
+ volunteers, why not run a rinky-dink distro made by a lot of
+ volunteers?"
+ -- jaldhar h. vyas
+%
+/.ing an issue is like asking an infinite number of monkeys for advice
+ -- in #debian-devel
+%
+SUSE: Soll Unix Sein, Eigentlich.
+%
+if you are walking on thin ice, you might as well dance!
+%
+to err is human - to moo, bovine
+%
+during the voyage of life, remember to keep an eye out for a fair
+wind; batten down during a storm; hail all passing ships; and fly your
+colours proudly!
+%
+"i might disagree with what you have to say,
+ but I'll defend to the death your right to say it."
+ -- voltaire
+%
+ EARTH
+ smog | bricks
+ AIR -- mud -- FIRE
+soda water | tequila
+ WATER
+%
+"to me, vi is zen. to use vi is to practice zen. every command is
+ a koan. profound to the user, unintelligible to the uninitiated.
+ you discover truth everytime you use it."
+ -- reddy ät lion.austin.ibm.com
+%
+"distrust all those who love you extremely
+ upon a very slight acquaintance and without any visible reason."
+ -- lord chesterfield
+%
+"the only difference between the saint and the sinner
+ is that every saint has a past and every sinner has a future."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+god is real, unless declared integer.
+ (dedicated to gabriel gómez)
+%
+women can keep a secret just as well as men,
+but it takes more of them to do it.
+%
+"common sense is the collection of prejudices
+ acquired by age eighteen."
+ -- albert einstein
+%
+"what's your conceptual continuity? --
+ well, it should be easy to see:
+ the crux of the bisquit is the apopstrophe!"
+ -- frank zappa
+%
+http://lavender.cime.net/~ricky/badgers.txt
+%
+warning at the gates of bill:
+abandon hope, all ye who press <enter> here...
+%
+"even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day."
+ -- orbital
+%
+"i worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty."
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+"how do you feel about women's rights?"
+"i like either side of them."
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+"they that can give up essential liberty
+ to obtain a little temporary safety
+ deserve neither liberty nor safety."
+ -- benjamin franklin
+%
+dies ist eine manuell generierte email. sie beinhaltet
+tippfehler und ist auch ohne großbuchstaben gültig.
+%
+if it's there, and you can see it, it's real.
+if it's not there, and you can see it, it's virtual.
+if it's there, and you can't see it, it's transparent.
+if it's not there, and you can't see it, you erased it.
+%
+mulutlitithtrhreeaadededd s siigngnatatuurere
+%
+"eine schlechte sache erregt, eine gute verträgt viel kritik."
+ -- charles tschopp
+%
+"zwei monologe, die sich gegenseitig
+ immer und immer wieder störend unterbrechen,
+ nennt man eine diskussion."
+ -- charles tschopp
+%
+"man kann die menschen nur von ihren eigenen meinungen überzeugen."
+ -- charles tschopp
+%
+"now, bring me that horizon."
+ -- captain jack sparrow
+%
+"no survivors? then where do the stories come from I wonder?"
+ -- captain jack sparrow
+%
+bush/cheney '04: the last vote you'll ever have to cast.
+%
+DISCLAIMER: this entire message is privileged communication, intended
+for the sole use of its recipients only. If you read it even though
+you know you aren't supposed to, you're a poopy-head.
+%
+"if you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost;
+ that is where they should be. now put the foundations under them."
+ -- henry david thoreau
+%
+"the difference between genius and stupidity
+ is that genius has it's limits."
+ -- albert einstein
+%
+"reife des mannes, das ist es,
+ den ernst wiedergefunden zu haben, den
+ man hatte als kind beim spiel."
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"america may be unique in being a country which has leapt
+ from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization."
+ -- john o'hara
+%
+"administration for windows networks is similar to maintaining a 12
+ year old gm truck. brand new, w2k+3 already has 190k miles of wear."
+ -- jeremiah cornelius
+%
+Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Fools Them.
+%
+"getting a scsi chain working is perfectly simple if you remember that
+ there must be exactly three terminations: one on one end of the
+ cable, one on the far end, and the goat, terminated over the scsi
+ chain with a silver-handled knife whilst burning *black* candles."
+ -- anthony deboer
+%
+"the worst part of being old is remembering when you was young."
+ -- alvin straight (the straight story)
+%
+"a warm bed in a house sounds a mite better
+ than eating a hot dog on a stick
+ with an old geezer traveling on a lawn mower."
+ -- alvin straight (the straight story)
+%
+"women, when they are not in love,
+ have all the cold blood of an experienced attorney."
+ -- honoré de balzac
+%
+"although occasionally there is something to be said for solitude."
+ -- special agent dale cooper
+%
+"sometimes the urge to do bad is nearly overpowering"
+ -- ben horne
+%
+"one should never allow one's mind
+ and one's foot to wander at the same time."
+ -- edward perkins (yes, the librarian)
+%
+gates' law: every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
+%
+"being shot is not as bad as i always thought it might be.
+ as long as you can keep the fear from your mind."
+ -- special agent dale cooper
+%
+"arguments are extremely vulgar,
+ for everyone in good society
+ holds exactly the same opinion."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"twenty-four hour room-service must be one of the
+ premiere achievements of modern civilization."
+ -- special agent dale cooper
+%
+logik ist analsadismus: gedanken werden gewaltsam
+durch einen engen gang gepreßt.
+ -- frei nach lacan
+%
+"if ever somethin' don't feel right to you, remember what pancho said
+ to the cisco kid... `let's win, before we are dancing at the end of
+ a rope, without music.'"
+ -- sailor
+%
+"stab it and steer"
+ -- sailor
+%
+windoze is the one-night-stand of operating systems;
+you feel so cheap after having used it.
+%
+"wer schmetterlinge lachen hört,
+ der weiss wie wolken schmecken."
+ -- freiherr friedrich von hardenberg
+%
+one has to multiply thoughts to the point
+where there aren't enough policemen to control them.
+ -- stanislaw jerzey lec
+%
+until lions have their historians,
+tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter.
+ -- african proverb
+%
+darwinism is nothing without enough dead bodies.
+%
+do micro$oft's total cost of operation calculations
+include total cost of downtime?
+%
+"montag, why do you burn books?"
+"it's a job like any other, pay is good and there is a lot of variety."
+ -- ray bradbury (f451)
+%
+"the wonderful thing about standards is
+ that there are so many to choose from."
+ -- grace hopper
+%
+"politics is the entertainment branch of industry."
+ -- frank zappa
+%
+"m.c.s.e": minesweeper consultant & solitaire expert
+%
+"sometimes we sit and read other people's interpretations of our
+ lyrics and think, 'hey, that's pretty good.' if we liked it, we would
+ keep our mouths shut and just accept the credit as if it was what we
+ meant all along."
+ -- john lennon
+%
+"never try to explain computers to a layman.
+ it's easier to explain sex to a virgin."
+ -- robert heinlein
+
+(note, however, that virgins tend to know a lot about computers.)
+%
+"a fundamentalist is someone who hates sin more than he loves virtue."
+ -- john h. schaar
+%
+"it is the customary fate of new truths
+ to begin as heresies and to end as superstitions.
+ -- thomas huxley
+%
+"however jewel-like the good will may be in its own right, there is
+ a morally significant difference between rescuing someone from
+ a burning building and dropping him from a twelfth-storey window
+ while trying to rescue him."
+ -- thomas nagel
+%
+i'm currently out trying to find myself.
+if i should get back before i return,
+please keep me here.
+%
+"life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."
+ -- john lennon
+%
+(on the statement print "42 monkeys"+"1 snake") btw,
+both perl and python get this wrong.
+perl gives 43 and python gives "42 monkeys1 snake",
+when the answer is clearly "41 monkeys and 1 fat snake".
+ -- jim fulton
+%
+"anyone who is capable of getting themselves made president
+ should on no account be allowed to do the job"
+ -- douglas adams
+%
+i've not lost my mind. it's backed up on tape somewhere.
+%
+"if one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again,
+ there is no use in reading it at all."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+all information contained in the above is false,
+for reasons of military security.
+%
+"i must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry martini."
+ -- alexander woolcott
+%
+you can't assign IP address 127.0.0.1 to the loopback adapter,
+because it is a reserved address for loopback devices.
+ -- micro$oft windoze xp professional
+%
+"i love deadlines. i like the whooshing
+ sound they make as they fly by."
+ -- douglas adams
+%
+normaliser unix c'est comme pasteuriser le camembert.
+%
+"science without religion is lame,
+ religion without science is blind."
+ -- albert einstein
+%
+there are only 10 types of people in the world:
+those who understand binary and those who don't.
+%
+why didn't noah swat those two mosquitoes?
+%
+why do they sterilise the needle for lethal injections?
+%
+if con is the opposite of pro, is congress the opposite of progress?
+%
+"sobald man über niveau spricht
+ ist man längst darüber hinweg."
+ -- thomas krafft
+%
+will kill for oil!
+%
+"heuristic is computer science jargon for 'doesn't actually work.'"
+ -- charlie reiman
+%
+if voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
+ -- revolution books, new york
+%
+fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
+ -- the irish times, washington dc
+%
+"der glaube an den kausalnexus ist der aberglaube"
+ -- wittgenstein
+%
+"... alle sätze der logik sagen aber dasselbe. nämlich nichts."
+ -- wittgenstein
+%
+"... (ethik und ästhetik sind eins.)"
+ -- wittgenstein
+%
+"wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen."
+ -- wittgenstein
+%
+in the beginning was the word,
+and the word was content-type: text/plain
+%
+"it is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."
+ -- voltaire
+%
+"when in doubt, parenthesize. at the very least it will let some
+ poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi."
+ -- larry wall
+%
+infinite loop: see 'loop, infinite'.
+loop, infinite: see 'infinite loop'.
+%
+"the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the 'volatile' keyword
+ is implemented syntactically
+ but not semantically"
+ -- documentation of m$ visual c, around 1992
+%
+security at micro$oft: how do we secure a billion dollar profit?
+%
+seen on an advertising for an elaborate swiss men's watch:
+ "almost as complicated as a woman. except it's on time"
+%
+"i doubt larry wall ever uses strict."
+ -- frederick heckel
+%
+micro$oft: "you've got questions? we've got dancing paperclips."
+%
+micro$oft could shit in a box, and most people would buy it.
+%
+eleventh law of acoustics:
+ in a minimum-phase system there is an inextricable link between
+ frequency response, phase response and transient response, as they
+ are all merely transforms of one another. this combined with
+ minimalization of open-loop errors in output amplifiers and correct
+ compensation for non-linear passive crossover network loading can
+ lead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost. however,
+ of course, this all means jack when you listen to pink floyd.
+%
+it is ok to let your mind go blank,
+but please turn off the sound.
+%
+"our destiny exercises its influence over us even when, as yet,
+ we have not learned its nature; it is our future that lays down the
+ law of our today."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"when zarathustra was alone... he said to his heart: 'could it be
+ possible! this old saint in the forest hath not yet heard of it, that
+ god is dead!'"
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"without music, life would be a mistake."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"the thought of suicide is a great consolation: by means of it one
+ gets successfully through many a bad night."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does
+ not become a monster. and when you look into an abyss, the abyss also
+ looks into you."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"we are like shop windows in which we are continually arranging,
+ concealing or illuminating the supposed qualities other ascribe to us
+ -- in order to deceive ourselves."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+the english take english for granted.
+but if we explore its paradoxes,
+we find that quicksand can work slowly.
+%
+#include <signature.h>
+%
+<!--#include file="~/.signature"-->
+%
+<span tal:replace="here/signature" />
+%
+use RFC822::Signature;
+%
+"a scientist once wrote that all truth passes through three stages:
+ first it is ridiculed, then violently opposed and eventually,
+ accepted as self-evident."
+ -- schopenhauer
+%
+"president thieu says he'll quit if he doesn't get more than 50% of
+ the vote. in a democracy, that's not called quitting."
+ -- the washington post
+%
+"not the truth in whose possession any man is, or thinks he is, but
+ the honest effort he has made to find out the truth, is what
+ constitutes the worth of man."
+ -- gotthold lessing
+%
+"if confronted with a choice between all the truth in god's right hand
+ and the ever live struggle for truth, coupled with eternal error, in
+ god's left, i would choose the left."
+ -- gotthold lessing
+%
+"lessing was a heretics' heretic"
+ -- walter kaufmann
+%
+before he died, rabbi zusya said: "in the world to come they will not
+ask me, 'why were you not moses?' they will ask me, 'why were you not
+zusya?'"
+%
+"alles sollte so einfach, wie möglich gemacht sein,
+ aber nicht einfacher."
+ -- albert einstein
+%
+"ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp,
+ or what's a heaven for?"
+ -- robert browning
+%
+"if you can dream it, you can do it"
+ -- walt disney
+%
+"the unexamined life is not worth living"
+ -- platon
+%
+bill gates, 1984: "640 k ought to be enough"
+bill gates, 1995: "the internet is not a primary goal for pc usage"
+bill gates, 1999: "linux has no impact on microsoft's strategy"
+bill gates, 2004: "we promise to solve the spam problem in two years"
+%
+officer, arrest that man! he's whistling a copyrighted song.
+%
+"the truth is rarely pure and never simple. modern life would be very
+ tedious if it were either, and modern literature a complete
+ impossibility!"
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"all women become like their mothers. that is their tragedy. no man
+ does. that's his."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"if i am occasionally a little overdressed, i make up for it by being
+ always immensely over-educated."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"i never travel without my diary. one should always have something
+ sensational to read on the train."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"i never go without my dinner. no one ever does, except vegetarians
+ and people like that."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"in all unimportant matters, style, not sincerity, is the essential.
+ in all important matters, style, not sincerity, is the essential."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"hesitation of any kind is a sign of mental decay in the young, of
+ physical weakness in the old."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"i am not in favour of long engagements. they give people the
+ opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage,
+ which i think is never advisable."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"i dislike arguments of any kind. they are always vulgar, and often
+ convincing."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"i can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. there
+ is something unfair about its use. it is hitting below the
+ intellect."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"i like wagner's music better than anybody's. it is so loud that one
+ can talk the whole time without other people hearing what one says."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"most people become bankrupt through having invested too heavily in
+ the prose of life. to have ruined one's self over poetry is an
+ honour."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"a cigarette is the perfect type of pleasure.
+ it is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"never trust a woman who wears mauve, whatever her age may be, or a
+ woman over thirty-five who is fond of pink ribbons. it always means
+ they have a history."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"moderation is a fatal thing. enough is as bad as a meal. more than
+ enough is as good as a feast."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"i hate vulgar realism in literature. the man who could call a spade
+ a spade should be compelled to use one. it is the only thing he is
+ fit for."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"one should never do anything that
+ one cannot talk about after dinner."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"if a man treats life artistically, his brain is his heart."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"to get back my youth i would do anything in the world, except take
+ exercise, get up early, or be respectable."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+stupidity management for the superuser
+is a user space issue in unix systems.
+ -- alan cox
+%
+a: no.
+q: should i include quotations after my reply?
+%
+windows 2000: designed for the internet.
+the internet: designed for unix.
+%
+$complex->{'data'}[$structures][$in_perl] = @{$can{'be'}->[$painful]};
+%
+weapon, n.:
+ an index of the lack of development of a culture.
+%
+"glaube heißt nicht wissen wollen, was wahr ist."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"ist gott eine erfindung des teufels?"
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"nicht durch zorn, sondern durch lachen tötet man."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"moral zu predigen ist ebenso leicht
+ als moral zu begründen schwer ist."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"durch frauen werden die höhepunkte des lebens bereichert
+ und die tiefpunkte vermehrt."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"alle menschen zerfallen, wie zu allen zeiten so auch jetzt noch, in
+ sklaven und freie; denn wer von seinem tag nicht zwei drittel für
+ sich hat, ist ein sklave, er sei übrigens wer er wolle: staatsmann,
+ kaufmann, beamter, gelehrter."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"aus der kriegsschule des lebens -
+ was mich nicht umbringt, macht mich härter."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"geld ist das brecheisen der macht."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"die menschen drängen sich zum lichte, nicht um besser zu sehen,
+ sondern um besser zu glänzen."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"man soll nicht in kirchen gehn, wenn man reine luft atmen will."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"solange man nicht die moral des christentums
+ als kapitalverbrechen am leben empfindet,
+ haben dessen verteidiger gutes spiel."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"da haben wir es also: eine kirchliche ordnung mit priesterschaft,
+ theologie, kultus, sakrament;
+ kurz, alles das, was jesus von nazareth bekämpft hatte..."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"zum christentum wird man nicht geboren,
+ man muß dazu nur krank genug sein."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"gott ist tot! und wir haben ihn getötet."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"licht wird alles, was ich fasse"
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"wahnsinn bei individuen ist selten,
+ aber in gruppen, nationen und epochen die regel."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"die zeit für kleine politik ist vorbei.
+ schon das nächste jahrhundert
+ bringt den kampf um die erdherrschaft."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"der beruf ist eine schutzwehr, hinter welche man sich erlaubterweise
+ zurückziehen kann, wenn bedenken und sorgen allgemeiner art einen
+ anfallen."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"den stil verbessern, das heißt den gedanken verbessern."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"alle vorurteile kommen aus den eingeweiden."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"auch der mutigste von uns hat nur selten den mut zu dem,
+ was er eigentlich weiß."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"was aus liebe getan wird,
+ geschieht immer jenseits von gut und böse."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"wer ein warum hat, dem ist kein wie zu schwer."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"menschen, welche rasch feuer fangen,
+ werden schnell kalt und sind daher im ganzen unzuverlässig."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"es ist immer etwas wahnsinn in der liebe.
+ es ist aber auch immer etwas vernunft im wahnsinn."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"die philosophie ist eine art rache an der wirklichkeit."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"der besitz der wahrheit ist nicht schrecklich,
+ sondern langweilig, wie jeder besitz."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"man sagt nicht 'nichts!', man sagt dafür 'jenseits' oder 'gott'."
+ - friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"the vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."
+ - george w. bush
+%
+"i have made good judgments in the past.
+ i have made good judgments in the future."
+ - george w. bush
+%
+"we have a firm commitment to nato, we are a part of nato.
+ we have a firm commitment to europe. we are a part of europe."
+ - george w. bush
+%
+"we are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
+ - george w. bush
+%
+"for nasa, space is still a high priority."
+ - george w. bush
+%
+"quite frankly, teachers are the only profession
+ that teach our children."
+ - george w. bush
+%
+"it isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
+ it's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
+ - dan quayle
+%
+"it's time for the human race to enter the solar system."
+ - george w. bush
+%
+"africa is a nation..."
+ - george w. bush
+%
+"all unser übel kommt daher,
+ daß wir nicht allein sein können."
+ -- schopenhauer
+%
+"we are trapped in the belly of this horrible machine,
+ and the machine is bleeding to death."
+ -- godspeed you black emperor!
+%
+love your enemies; they'll go crazy
+trying to figure out what you're up to.
+%
+"violence is the last refuge of the incompetent"
+ -- isaac asimov
+%
+the irony is that bill gates claims to be making a stable operating
+system and linus torvalds claims to be trying to take over the world.
+%
+the security, stability and reliability of a computer system
+is reciprocally proportional to
+the amount of vacuity between the ears of the admin.
+%
+"a man who does not realise
+ that he is half an animal
+ is only half a man."
+ -- thornton wilder
+%
+who's general failure, and why's he reading my disk?
+%
+"be the change you want to see in the world"
+ -- mahatma gandhi
+%
+micro$oft windoze is like an air-conditioner:
+it breaks down if you open a window.
+%
+"never underestimate the bandwidth of
+ a station wagon full of tapes careening down the highway."
+ -- andrew s. tanenbaum
+%
+"all language designers are arrogant. goes with the territory..."
+ -- larry wall
+%
+the best way to accelerate
+a computer running windoze
+is at 9.81 ms^-2
+%
+"i have smoked pot. it is a stupid business, like masturbation."
+ -- thomas pynchon
+%
+"every day is long. 86400 doesn't fit in a short."
+%
+"computer science is no more about computers
+ than astronomy is about telescopes."
+ -- edsgar w. dijkstra
+%
+"we all know linux is great...
+ it does infinite loops in 5 seconds."
+ -- linus torvalds
+%
+a qui sait comprendre, peu de mots suffisent.
+ -- intelligenti pauca
+%
+the reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream
+is because it is so shallow.
+%
+government announcement - the government announced today that it is
+changing its mascot to a condom because it more clearly reflects the
+government's political stance. a condom stands up to inflation, halts
+production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks
+and finally, gives you a sense of security while you're being screwed!
+%
+there are lies, statistics, and benchmarks.
+%
+seminars, n.:
+ from "semi" and "arse", hence, any half-assed discussion.
+%
+the only secure micro$oft software is
+what's still shrink-wrapped in the warehouse.
+%
+unix, because rebooting is for adding new hardware.
+%
+perl -e 'print "The earth is a disk!\n" if ( "a" == "b" );'
+ (dedicated to nori)
+%
+perl -e 'print "The earth is a disk!\n" if ( "earth" == "flat" );'
+%
+whatever you do will be insignificant,
+but it is very important that you do it.
+ -- mahatma gandhi
+%
+i welcome your constructive criticism and corrections.
+%
+"if they can get you asking the wrong questions,
+ they don't have to worry about answers."
+ -- thomas pynchon
+%
+"out of the crooked timber of humanity,
+ no straight thing was ever made."
+ -- imanuel kant
+%
+"it is impossible to foresee the consequences of being clever."
+ -- cristopher strachey
+%
+... and don't get caught in the .NET!
+%
+for years, we have thought that a million monkeys typing at a million
+typewriters would eventually produce the complete works of shakespeare.
+today, thanks to the internet, we know this is not true.
+%
+work like you don't need the money
+love like you have never been hurt
+dance like there's nobody watching
+%
+a friend is someone with whom
+you can dare to be yourself
+%
+beware of bugs in the above code;
+i have only proved it correct, not tried it.
+ -- donald e. knuth
+%
+i must confess, I was born at a very early age.
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+time wounds all heels.
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+it is better to have loft and lost
+than to never have loft at all.
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+a woman is an occasional pleasure
+but a cigar is always a smoke.
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+one morning i shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
+how he got into my pyjamas i'll never know.
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+what do you mean, it's not packaged in debian?
+%
+"self-denial is the shining sore
+ on the leprous body of christianity."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"no woman should ever be quite accurate about her age.
+ it looks so calculating."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the well-bred contradict other people.
+ the wise contradict themselves."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"a man's very highest moment is, i have no doubt at all, when he
+ kneels in the dust, and beats his breast, and tells all the sins of
+ his life."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"alas, i am dying beyond my means."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"crying is the refuge of plain women but the ruin of pretty ones."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"she is absolutely inadmissible into society. many a woman has a past,
+ but I am told that she has at least a dozen, and that they all fit."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time
+ to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the public is wonderfully tolerant.
+ it forgives everything except genius."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"frank harris has been received
+ in all the great houses -- once!"
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"i sometimes think that god
+ in creating man
+ somewhat overestimated his ability."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the husbands of very beautiful women
+ belong to the criminal classes."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"imagination is a quality given a man
+ to compensate him for what he is not,
+ and a sense of humour was provided
+ to console him for what he is."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love:
+ it is the faithless who know love's tragedies."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the intellect is not a serious thing, and never has been.
+ it is an instrument on which one plays, that is all."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"a kiss may ruin a human life."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the mind of the thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing.
+ it is like a bric-à-brac shop, all monsters and dust,
+ with everything priced above its proper value."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the liar at any rate recognises that recreation, not instruction, is
+ the aim of conversation, and is a far more civilised being than the
+ blockhead who loudly expresses his disbelief in a story which is told
+ simply for the amusement of the company."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"literature always anticipates life.
+ it does not copy it, but moulds it to its purpose.
+ the nineteenth century, as we know it,
+ is largely an invention of balzac."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"when a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband.
+ when a man marries again it is because he adored his first wife.
+ women try their luck; men risk theirs."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better,
+ they don't know anything at all."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"women love us for our defects.
+ if we have enough of them,
+ they will forgive us everything,
+ even our gigantic intellects."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"it is only the modern that ever becomes old-fashioned."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"of course the music is a great difficulty.
+ you see, if one plays good music, people don't listen,
+ and if one plays bad music people don't talk."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"no work of art ever puts forward views.
+ views belong to people
+ who are not artists."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the condition of perfection is idleness.
+ the aim of perfection is youth."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the sick do not ask
+ if the hand that smoothes their pillow is pure,
+ nor the dying care
+ if the lips that touch their brow have known the kiss of sin."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"men always want to be a woman's first love.
+ women have a more subtle instinct:
+ what they like is to be a man's last romance."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"nothing can cure the soul but the senses,
+ just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"never speak disrespectfully of society.
+ only people who can't get into it do that."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"to have the reputation of possessing the most perfect social tact,
+ talk to every woman as if you loved her,
+ and to every man as if he bored you."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"one should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
+ if she tells that, she will tell anything."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"vulgarity is simply the conduct of other people."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"wickedness is a myth
+ invented by good people
+ to account for the curious attraction of others."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the strength of women comes from the fact
+ that psychology cannot explain us.
+ men can be analyzed, women merely adored."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"i've got a bike,
+ you can ride it if you like,
+ it's got a basket. a bell that rings, and things to make it look good.
+ i'd give it to you if i could,
+ but i borrowed it."
+ -- syd barrett, 1967
+%
+this space intentionally left blank.
+%
+this space intentionally left occupied.
+%
+micro$oft windoze - the best solitaire game you can buy.
+%
+last year, out in california, at a pc users group, there was a demo of
+smart speech recognition software. before the demonstrator could begin
+his demo, a voice called out from the audience: "format c, return.
+yes, return." a short demo it was.
+%
+*** important disclaimer:
+by sending an email to any address, that will eventually cause it to
+end up in my inbox without much interaction, you are agreeing that:
+
+ - i am by definition, "the intended recipient"
+ - all information in the email is mine to do with as i see fit and
+ make such financial profit, political mileage, or good joke as it
+ lends itself to. in particular, i may quote it on usenet.
+ - i may take the contents as representing the views of your company.
+ - this overrides any disclaimer or statement of confidentiality that
+ may be included on your message.
+%
+my other computer is your windows box.
+%
+echo '9,J8HD,fDGG8B@?:536FC5=8@I;C5?@H5B0D@5GBIELD54DL>@8L?:5GDEJ8LDG1' |\
+ sed ss,s50EBsg | tr 0-M 'p.wBt SgiIlxmLhan:o,erDsduv/cyP'
+%
+micro$oft encrypts your windows nt password when stored on a windows
+ce device. but if you look carefully at their encryption algorithm,
+they simply xor the password with "susageP", Pegasus spelled
+backwards. Pegasus is the code name of windows ce. this is so pathetic
+it's staggering.
+%
+"an intellectual is someone who has found
+ something more interesting than sex."
+ -- edgar wallace
+%
+after you install windows xp, you have the option to create user
+accounts. if you create user accounts, by default, they will have an
+account type of administrator with no password. way to go!
+%
+the remote desktop feature of windows xp is really nice (and
+*novel*!). a micro$oft consultant can *remotely* disable the personal
+firewall and control the system. we'll ignore the fact that this
+tampering with the firewall is not logged, and more importantly, that
+the firewall isn't restored when the clowns from redmond are done with
+their job.
+%
+"oh what a tangled web we weave,
+ when first we practice to deceive.
+ but my how we improve the score,
+ as we practice more and more."
+ -- sir walter scott
+%
+"you grabbed my hand and we fell into it,
+ like a daydream - or a fever."
+ -- godspeed you black emperor!
+%
+there is no place like ~
+%
+http://www.transnationalrepublic.org/
+%
+sed -e '/^[when][coders]/!d' \
+ -e '/^...[discover].$/d' \
+ -e '/^..[real].[code]$/!d' \
+ /usr/share/dict/words
+%
+"welcome to american airlines, sir. here's your avocado - remember to
+ keep it turned on and with you at all times. please turn your luggage
+ over to the armadillos for rootling."
+ -- http://azure.humbug.org.au/~aj/armadillos.txt
+%
+"security here. yes, ma'am. yes. groucho glasses. yes, we're on it.
+ c'mon, guys. somebody gave an aardvark a nose-cut: somebody who
+ can't deal with deconstructionist humor. code blue."
+ -- http://azure.humbug.org.au/~aj/armadillos.txt
+%
+man muss noch chaos in sich haben
+um einen tanzenden stern zu gebähren.
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
+%
+die wahrheit ist selten
+auf seiten der wahrscheinlichkeit.
+ -- heinrich v. kleist
+%
+linux is like a wigwam.
+no gates, no windoze, and an apache inside.
+%
+it has been said that there are only two businesses
+that refer to customers as users:
+illegal drug trade and the computer industry.
+%
+"there are two major products that come out of berkeley: lsd and unix."
+ one caused me an addiction
+ -- fyodor
+%
+"there are two major products that come out of berkeley: lsd and unix.
+ we don't believe this to be a coincidence."
+ -- jeremy s. anderson
+%
+if loving linux is wrong, i don't want to be right.
+%
+http://www.vcnet.com/bms/
+%
+http://kirch.net/unix-nt/
+%
+"sailing is, after all, a kind of grace, a kind of magic."
+ -- phil berman
+%
+a c programmer asked whether computers have buddha's nature.
+as the answer, the master did "rm -rf" on the programmer's home
+directory. and then the c programmer became enlightened...
+%
+someday we'll find it
+the rainbow connection
+the lovers, the dreamers,
+and me!
+ -- kermit
+%
+i wish this wish not to be granted!
+ -- achilles (hofstadter's geb)
+%
+kermit: why are there so many songs about rainbows?
+fozzy: that's part of what rainbows do.
+%
+"nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit."
+ -- seneca
+%
+when compared to windoze, unix is an operating system.
+%
+it may look like i'm just sitting here doing nothing.
+but i'm really actively waiting
+for all my problems to go away.
+%
+quantum mechanics: the dreams stuff is made of.
+%
+due to lack of interest tomorrow has been cancelled.
+%
+this message represents the official view of the voices in my head.
+%
+your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT. you feel sleepy. notice
+how restful it is to watch the cursor blink. close your eyes. the
+opinions stated above are yours. you cannot imagine why you ever felt
+otherwise.
+%
+it's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.
+%
+the micro$oft hoover: finally, a product that's supposed to suck!
+%
+(a)bort, (r)etry, (p)retend this never happened
+%
+"there's someone in my head but it's not me."
+ -- pink floyd, the dark side of the moon, 1972
+%
+the reason that every major university
+maintains a department of mathematics
+is that it's cheaper than
+institutionalizing all those people.
+%
+"in just seven days, i can make you a man!"
+ -- the rocky horror picture show
+%
+tempt not a desperate man.
+ -- william shakespeare
+%
+scientists will study your brain to learn
+more about your distant cousin, man.
+%
+micro$oft dns service terminates abnormally
+when it receives a response
+to a dns query that was never made.
+fix information: run your dns service on a different platform.
+ -- bugtraq
+%
+in africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the
+ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. anthropologists
+call this a form of primitive self-expression. in america they call
+it golf.
+%
+nasa spent 2 billion dollars on the research of a ballpoint pen that
+could write on everything, even upside down, under water, or at
+extreme temperatures; the russians used a pencil.
+ (but see: http://www.snopes.com/business/genius/spacepen.asp)
+%
+obviously i was either onto something, or on something.
+ -- larry wall on the creation of perl
+%
+if god had meant for us to be naked,
+we would have been born that way.
+%
+fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
+ -- victor hugo
+%
+kill ugly radio
+ -- frank zappa
+%
+linux: because a pc is a terrible thing to waste
+%
+"time flies like an arrow. fruit flies like a banana."
+ -- groucho marx
+(panda eats shoots and leaves)
+%
+it's as bad as you think, and they are out to get you.
+%
+warning: dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
+%
+always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
+%
+consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
+%
+have you drugged your kids today?
+%
+"a compliment is like a kiss through a veil."
+ -- victor hugo
+%
+"si tu veux construire un bateau, il ne faut pas réunir des hommes
+pour aller chercher le bois et les outils et les préparer à se
+répartir les différents travaux. Il faut plutôt leur donner l'envie,
+la passion de la mer infinie."
+ -- antoine de saint-exupéry
+%
+"and the sea isn't green
+ and i love the queen
+ and what exactly is a dream?
+ and what exactly is a joke?"
+ -- syd barrett
+%
+"driving with a destination
+ is like having sex to have children"
+ -- backwater wayne miller
+%
+"memory is like an orgasm.
+ it's a lot better
+ if you don't have to fake it."
+ -- seymour cray commenting on virtual memory
+
+"but virtual memory still gets the job done."
+ -- gr
+%
+hi! i'm a .signature virus!
+copy me into your ~/.signature to help me spread!
+%
+#define emacs eighty megabytes and constantly swapping.
+%
+Escape Meta Alt Control Shift
+%
+"it is the mark of an educated mind
+ to be able to entertain a thought
+ without accepting it."
+ -- aristoteles
+%
+"it would be truly surprising
+ if sound were not capable of suggesting colour,
+ if colours could not give the idea of the melody,
+ if sound and colour were not adequate to express ideas."
+ -- claude debussy
+%
+"you raise the blade, you make the change
+ you rearrange me till i'm sane.
+ you lock the door, and throw away the key,
+ there's someone in my head but it's not me."
+ -- pink floyd, 1972
+%
+"in any hierarchy, each individual rises
+ to his own level of incompetence,
+ and then remains there."
+ -- murphy (after dr. laurence j. peter)
+%
+"gilmour's guitar sounds good
+ whether you've got a bottle of cider in your hand
+ or a keyboard and a mouse."
+ -- prof. bruce maxwell
+%
+"and if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
+ you shout and no one seems to hear
+ and if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
+ i'll see you on the dark side of the moon."
+ -- pink floyd, 1972
+%
+"and no one sings me lullabies,
+ and no one makes me close my eyes,
+ and so i throw the windows wide,
+ and call to you across the sky"
+ -- pink floyd, 1971
+%
+"friendships last when each friend thinks he has
+ a slight superiority over the other."
+ -- honoré de balzac
+%
+"the only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of
+ the immense inferiority of everybody else, and this is a feeling that
+ I have always cultivated."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+heisenberg may have been here.
+%
+no cat has eight tails.
+a cat has one tail more than no cat.
+therefore, a cat has nine tails.
+%
+"when I was a boy I was told
+ that anybody could become president.
+ now i'm beginning to believe it."
+ -- clarence darrow
+%
+"even if you persuade me, you won't persuade me."
+ -- aristophanes
+%
+"a mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."
+ -- paul erdös
+%
+"my father, a good man, told me:
+'never lose your ignorance; you cannot replace it.'"
+ -- erich maria remarque
+%
+"syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon."
+ -- epigrams in programming
+%
+"imagine if every thursday your shoes exploded if you
+ tied them the usual way. this happens to us all the time
+ with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining."
+ -- jeff raskin
+%
+"god is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
+ -- voltaire
+%
+"no problem is so formidable
+ that you can't just walk away from it."
+ -- c. schulz
+%
+may the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits.
+%
+"we should have a volleyballocracy.
+ we elect a six-pack of presidents.
+ each one serves until they screw up,
+ at which point they rotate."
+ -- dennis miller
+%
+an avocado-tone refrigerator would look good on your resume.
+%
+there's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
+%
+"i wish there was a knob on the tv to turn up the intelligence.
+ there's a knob called 'brightness', but it doesn't seem to work."
+ -- gallagher
+%
+click the start menu and select 'shut down.'
+%
+"in the stage of grand illusion
+ you walked into my life
+ out of my dreams."
+ -- david bowie
+%
+echo '[dO%O+38%O+PO/d0<0]Fi22os0CC4BA64E418CE7l0xAP' | dc
+%
+it said "needs windoze 98 or better," so i installed linux.
+%
+oxymoron: micro$oft works
+%
+"it usually takes more than three weeks
+ to prepare a good impromptu speech.
+ -- mark twain
+%
+"if beethoven's seventh symphony
+ is not by some means abridged,
+ it will soon fall into disuse."
+ -- philip hale, boston music critic, 1837
+%
+don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
+%
+never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
+%
+"mirrors should reflect a little before throwing back images."
+ -- jean cocteau
+%
+all of you that believe in telekinetics, raise my hand!
+%
+"i believe that the moment is near when by a procedure
+ of active paranoiac thought, it will be possible
+ to systematise confusion and contribute to
+ the total discrediting of the world of reality."
+ -- salvador dali
+%
+i'd rather be riding a high speed tractor
+with a beer on my lap,
+and a six pack of girls next to me.
+%
+"women who want to be equal to men lack ambition."
+ -- timothy leary
+%
+"no, 'eureka' is greek for 'this bath is too hot.'"
+ -- dr. who
+%
+"the human brain is like an enormous fish --
+ it is flat and slimy
+ and has gills through which it can see."
+ -- monty python
+%
+the only real advantage to punk music is
+that nobody can whistle it.
+%
+"this week dragged past me so slowly;
+ the days fell on their knees..."
+ -- david bowie
+%
+"when faced with a new problem, the wise algorithmist
+ will first attempt to classify it as np-complete.
+ this will avoid many tears and tantrums as
+ algorithm after algorithm fails."
+ -- g. niruta
+%
+i'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
+%
+humpty was pushed.
+%
+a gourmet concerned about calories
+is like a punter eyeing the clock.
+%
+micro$oft is to operating systems & security
+what mcdonalds is to gourmet cuisine.
+%
+"in the country of the blind,
+ the one-eyed man is not king.
+ he is taken to be a hallucinating lunatic."
+ -marshall mcluhan
+%
+"in contrast to the what-you-see-is-what-you-get philosophy,
+ unix is the you-asked-for-it,-you-got-it operating system."
+ --scott lee
+%
+la lune, c'est comme les canards
+il faut aimer caresser les chats
+pour avoir envie d'y aller.
+%
+"micro$oft productivity software"
+ - see reductio ad absurdum, conclusions.
+%
+no micro$oft components were used
+in the creation or posting of this email.
+therefore, it is 100% virus free
+and does not use html by default (yuck!).
+%
+"information superhighway"
+ is just an anagram for
+"i'm on a huge wispy rhino fart".
+%
+micro$oft windoze: proof that p. t. barnum was correct.
+%
+chaos reigns within.
+reflect, repent, reboot.
+order shall return.
+%
+wind catches lily,
+scattering petals to the ground.
+segmentation fault.
+%
+no keyboard present.
+press f1 to continue.
+zen engineering.
+%
+windoze nt crashed.
+i am the blue screen of death.
+no one hears your screams.
+%
+above all, we should not wish to divest
+our existence of its rich ambiguity.
+ --friedrich nietzsche
+%
+-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
+Version: 3.12
+GCS/IT d- s: a-- C++(++++) UL+++(++++) P+ L++++ E--- W- N+ o-- K !w O-
+M- V PS+(+++) PE(--) Y+ PGP++ t- 5 !X R- !tv b+(++) DI--(+) D++(+++)
+G+ e>++++ h* r+>++ y+++++>+(++)
+------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
+%
+ . `___
+(o- (o- (o- (o- (o- (o- (o- /\/| | |
+//\ //\ //\ //\ //\ //\ //\ ` /\/\/l-+-|
+v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ v_/_ .` /\/\/|_|_|
+%
+microsoft: for when quality, reliability, and security
+ just aren't that important!
+%
+perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5,(41*2),sqrt(7056),(unpack(c,H)-2),oct(115),10);'
+%
+windoze 98: <n.> useless extension to a minor patch release for 32-bit
+ extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit
+ operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written
+ by a 2-bit company that can't stand for 1 bit of competition.
+%
+"... doch warum sollte nicht jeder einzelne
+ aus seinem leben ein kunstwerk machen koennen?"
+ -- michel foucault
+%
+"there are more things in heaven and earth, horatio,
+ than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
+ -- hamlet
+%
+because light travels faster than sound,
+some people appear to be intelligent,
+until you hear them speak.
+%
+"if I can't dance, i don't want to be part of your revolution."
+ - emma goldman
+%
+"for art to exist, for any sort of aesthetic activity or perception to
+ exist, a certain physiological precondition is indispensable:
+ intoxication."
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
+%
+redistribution of this email via the
+microsoft network is prohibited.
+%
+"with sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. however, this is not
+ necessarily a good idea. it is hard to be sure where they are going
+ to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly
+ overhead."
+ -- rfc 1925
+%
+echo Prpv a\'rfg cnf har cvcr | tr Pacfghnrvp Cnpstuaeic
+%
+"common sense is the collection
+ of prejudices acquired by age eighteen"
+ -- albert einstein
+%
+the unix philosophy basically involves
+giving you enough rope to hang yourself.
+and then some more, just to be sure.
+%
+the heineken uncertainty principle:
+ you can never be sure how many
+ beers you had last night.
+%
+"in a country where the sole employer is the state, opposition means
+ death by slow starvation. the old principle: who does not work shall
+ not eat, has been replaced by a new one: who does not obey shall not
+ eat."
+ -- leon trotsky, 1937
+%
+if god is perfect, why did he create discontinuous functions?
+%
+"a woman is like your shadow;
+ follow her, she flies;
+ fly from her, she follows."
+ -- sébastien-roch-nicolas chamfort
+%
+philosophy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
+%
+quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur.
+%
+"prisons are built with stones of law,
+ brothels with bricks of religion."
+ -- william blake
+%
+people with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.
+%
+"good advice is something a man gives
+ when he is too old to set a bad example.
+ -- la rouchefoucauld
+%
+"love is a grave mental disease."
+ -- platon
+%
+"marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly."
+ -- voltaire
+%
+"this sentence contradicts itself -- no actually it doesn't."
+ -- douglas hofstadter
+%
+"once ... in the wilds of afghanistan, i lost my corkscrew, and we
+ were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days."
+ -- w. c. fields, "my little chickadee"
+%
+the only difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman
+is that the car salesman knows he's lying.
+%
+gentoo: the performance placebo.
+%
+apt-get source --compile gentoo
+%
+military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool
+than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt.
+%
+"i like young girls. their stories are shorter."
+ -- tom mcguane
+%
+"let me take you down, 'cause i'm going to strawberry fields.
+ nothing is real and nothing to get hungabout.
+ strawberry fields forever."
+ -- the beatles
+%
+"picture yourself in a boat on a river
+ with tangerine trees and marmelade skies..."
+ -- the beatles
+%
+"everyone smiles as you drift past the flower
+ that grows so incredibly high."
+ -- the beatles
+%
+"it always takes longer than you expect, even when
+ you take into account hofstadter's law."
+ -- douglas hofstadter
+%
+an egg has the shortest sex-life of all: if gets laid once; it gets
+eaten once. it also has to come in a box with 11 others, and the
+only person who will sit on its face is its mother.
+%
+be careful of reading health books -- you might die of a misprint.
+ -- mark twain
+%
+half a bee, philosophically, must ipso facto half not be.
+but half the bee has got to be, vis-a-vis its entity. you see?
+but can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee,
+when half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?
+ -- monty python
+%
+"if you stew apples like cranberries,
+ they taste more like prunes than rhubarb does."
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+"in diving to the bottom of pleasure
+ we bring up more gravel than pearls."
+ -- honoré de balzac
+%
+"it is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason
+ that it is more difficult to be witty every day
+ than to say pretty things from time to time."
+ -- honoré de balzac
+%
+"when women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes;
+ when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing,
+ not even our virtues."
+ -- honoré de balzac
+%
+"i think, therefore i'm single"
+ -- lizz winstead
+%
+"a woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking
+ his retreat."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"the greatest trick the devil ever pulled
+ was convincing the world he didn't exist."
+ -- verbal kint (the usual suspects)
+%
+"the problem with america is stupidity. i'm not saying there should
+ be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take
+ the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve
+ itself?"
+ -- seen on irc
+%
+"work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do.
+ play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do."
+ -- mark twain
+%
+"those are my principles, and if you don't like them...
+ well, I have others."
+ -- groucho marx
+%
+murphy's law is recursive.
+washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
+%
+"the faster i go, the behinder i get."
+ -- lewis carroll
+%
+"the pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+"first get your facts; then you can distort them at your leisure."
+ -- mark twain
+%
+"i don't think so," said rene descartes. just then, he vanished.
+%
+"a mac is like a prostitute. sure they look good,
+ but your wallet will feel a lot lighter after getting one."
+ -- psychonate on irc
+%
+god is dead.
+ -- nietzsche
+nietzsche is dead.
+ -- god
+nietzsche is god.
+ -- dead
+%
+"you don't sew with a fork, so i see no reason
+ to eat with knitting needles."
+ -- miss piggy, on eating chinese food
+%
+"they redundantly repeated themselves over and over,
+ incessantly without end and ad infinitum"
+ -- ibid
+%
+"i always had a repulsive need to be something more than human."
+ -- david bowie
+%
+"verbing weirds language."
+ -- calvin
+%
+russian roulette on the shell: ((RANDOM % 6)) || rm -rf ~
+%
+"everyone has a little secret he keeps,
+ i like the fires when the city sleeps."
+ -- mc 900 ft jesus
+%
+"the perfect gun is an idealist without any ideal."
+ -- mc 900 ft jesus
+%
+anyone who says sunshine brings happiness
+has never danced in the rain.
+%
+"truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because
+ fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isnt."
+ -- mark twain
+%
+"he gave me his card
+ he said, 'call me if they die'
+ i shook his hand and said goodbye
+ ran out to the street
+ when a bowling ball came down the road
+ and knocked me off my feet"
+ -- bob dylan
+%
+"wer in einem gewissen alter nicht merkt, daß er hauptsächlich von
+ idioten umgeben ist, merkt das aus einem gewissen grund nicht."
+ -- kurt götz
+%
+"try to remove the color-problem by
+ restarting your computer several times."
+ -- microsoft internet explorer's readme.txt
+%
+"on the other hand, with the advent of msvc 5, i can claim i use
+ emacs because it's smaller and more efficient." :-)"
+ -- darin johnson
+%
+"william blake, you're a dead man!"
+ -- nobody
+%
+"'this must be a thursday,' said arthur to himself, sinking low over
+ his beer. 'i never could get the hang of thursdays.'"
+ -- hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
+%
+"arthur slapped his arms about himself to try and get his
+ circulation a little more enthusiastic about its job."
+ -- hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
+%
+"if there's anything more important than my ego,
+ i want it caught and shot now."
+ -- zaphod beeblebrox
+%
+"'the answer to the great question...'
+ 'of life, the universe and everything...' said deep thought.
+ 'is...' said deep thought, and paused.
+ 'is...'
+ 'forty-two,' said deep thought, with infinite majesty and calm."
+ -- hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
+%
+"there was silence for a moment, and then out of the scrambled mess
+ of arthur's brain crawled some words."
+ -- hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
+%
+"the word yellow wandered through his mind in search of something to
+ connect with."
+ -- hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
+%
+"the ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
+ -- hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy
+%
+"if english was good enough for jesus christ,
+ it's good enough for us."
+ -- miriam ferguson, governor of texas
+%
+"to every complex problem, there is a solution
+ which is short, simple, and wrong."
+ -- mencken
+%
+"perhaps debian is concerned more about technical excellence rather
+ than ease of use by breaking software. in the former we may excel.
+ in the latter we have to concede the field to microsoft. guess
+ where i want to go today?"
+ -- manoj srivastava
+%
+"doesn't he know who i think i am?"
+ -- phil collins
+%
+"courage is not the absence of fear, but the decision
+ that something else is more important than fear."
+ -- ambrose redmoon
+%
+"cs class at 8:30am. ugly. if you can wake up early enough to get
+ good grades here, you need to develop hacker habits..."
+ -- jeff bailey on #debian-devel
+%
+"men who say it cannot be done should not interrupt men doing it."
+ -- old chinese proverb
+%
+"never attribute to malice what can be
+ adequately explained by incompetence."
+ -- mark twain
+%
+"i feel sorry for people who don't drink. when they wake up in the
+ morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
+ -- frank sinatra
+%
+now I lay me back to sleep.
+the speaker's dull; the subject's deep.
+if he should stop before I wake,
+give me a nudge for goodness' sake.
+%
+* Overfiend came out of the womb complaining.
+ -- #debian-devel
+%
+there are two groups of people in the world: those who believe that
+the world can be divided into two groups of people, and those who
+don't.
+%
+"when a gentoo admin tells me that the KISS principle is good for
+ 'busy sysadmins', and that it's not an evolutionary step backwards,
+ i wonder whether their tape is already running backwards."
+%
+"arrogance on the part of the meritorious is even more
+ offensive to us than the arrogance of those without merit:
+ for merit itself is offensive."
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
+%
+never trust an operating system
+for which you do not have the source.
+ -- source unknown
+%
+"i am a deeply superficial person."
+ -- andy warhol
+%
+"half a bee, philosophically,
+ must ipso facto half not be."
+ -- monty python
+%
+it is better to have loved a short man
+than never to have loved a tall.
+%
+<n3tg0d> has /usr/bin/emacs been put into /etc/shells yet? :P
+%
+quick!! act as if nothing has happened!
+%
+"people don't want a president to say 'never'.
+ using violence is never the first choice of the president".
+ -- george w. bush
+%
+"i always choose my friends for their good looks and my enemies for
+ their good intellects. man cannot be too careful in his choice of
+ enemies."
+ -- oscar wilde
+%
+micro$oft windows psychic edition:
+we will tell you where you are going tomorrow.
+%
+"the search for the perfect martini is a fraud. the perfect martini
+ is a belt of gin from the bottle; anything else is the decadent
+ trappings of civilization."
+ -- t. k.
+%
+if you see an onion ring -- answer it!
+%
+"i wish i hadn't slept all day, it's really lowered my productivity"
+ -- robert mcqueen
+%
+life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality.
+%
+"we americans, we're a simple people...
+ but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities."
+ -- robin williams, good morning vietnam
+%
+a bachelor is a man who never made the same mistake once.
+%
+"here i was all convinced that if i sleep all day, bug counts go
+ down, and if I work all day, they go up, so much for that theory."
+ -- lars wirzenius
+%
+"wenn elephanten tanzen leidet das gras."
+ -- die vogelpredigt
+%
+sex an und für sich ist reine selbstbefriedigung.
+%
+"the surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in
+ higher esteem those who think alike than those who think
+ differently."
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"writing a book is like washing an elephant: there no good place to
+ begin or end, and it's hard to keep track of what you've already
+ covered."
+ -- anonymous
+%
+"if builders built buildings the way
+ programmers wrote programs,
+ then the first woodpecker that came along
+ would destroy civilization."
+ -- gerald weinberg
+%
+"the only difference between shakespeare and you
+ was the size of his idiom list -- not the size of his vocabulary."
+ -- alan perlis
+%
+"fools ignore complexity. pragmatics suffer it.
+ some can avoid it. geniuses remove it."
+ -- alan perlis
+%
+save the plankton - eat a whale.
+%
+"you don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason
+ to eat with knitting needles."
+ -- miss piggy, on eating chinese food
+%
+"the less you know about computers the more you want micro$oft!"
+ -- micro$oft ad campaign, circa 1996
+(proof that micro$oft's advertising _isn't_ dishonest!)
+%
+"a woman does not want the truth; what is truth to women? from the
+ beginning, nothing has been more alien, repugnant, and hostile to
+ woman than the truth - her great art is the lie, her highest
+ concern is mere appearance and beauty."
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"if java had true garbage collection,
+ most programs would delete themselves upon execution."
+ -- robert sewell
+%
+"there was no difference between the behavior of a god
+ and the operations of pure chance..."
+ -- thomas pynchon, "gravity's rainbow"
+%
+windows v.i.s.t.a.: viruses, infections, spyware, trojans and adware
+%
+"es ist gut, eine sache doppelt auszudrücken und ihr einen
+ rechten und linken fuß zu geben. auf einem bein kann die wahrheit
+ zwar stehen; mit zweien aber wird sie gehen und herumkommen."
+ -- friedrich nietzsche
+%
+"vista is evidentally latvian for "hen", and "perating system", that
+ is, OS without the o, means "system for making eggs." so vista is at
+ least useful come breakfast time?"
+ -- kit la touche
+%
+a common mistake that people make
+when trying to design something completely foolproof
+was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
+ -- douglas adams, "mostly harmless"
+%
+... the ravenous bugblatter beast of traal (a mind-bogglingly stupid
+animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you --
+daft as a bush, but very very ravenous);
+ -- douglas adams, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy"
+%
+a Hooloovoo is a superintelligent shade of the color blue.
+ -- douglas adams, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy"
+%
+"'oh, that was easy,' says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove
+ that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra
+ crossing."
+ -- douglas adams, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy"
+%
+"funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse
+ it suddenly does."
+ -- marvin
+%
+... with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost,
+but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
+ -- douglas adams, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy"
+%
+only by counting could humans demonstrate
+their independence of computers.
+ -- douglas adams, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy"
+%
+the images rushed around his mind and tried
+to find somewhere to settle down and make sense.
+ -- douglas adams, "the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy"
+%
+"there are lots of reasons not to use linux.
+ there just aren't any good ones."
+ --steven j. vaughan-nichols
+%
+"in the figure of the president, george w. bush, the incompetence,
+ stupidity, and sheer inhumanity that characterize so much of
+ america's money-mad corporate elite find their quintessentially
+ repulsive expression."
+ -- journalist, aftermath of katrina
+%
+"i started taking an online a.d.d. test, linked from
+ someone's blog. i never finished it; i got distracted, and clicked
+ on random other shiny things"
+ -- andres salomon
+%
+"... and so he killed Miguel in a rit of fealous jage."
+ -- inspector clouseau
+%
+"it takes more keystrokes to enter a windows license key
+ than it takes to do a complete debian desktop install!"
+ -- joey hess
+%
+"writing a book about debian
+ is like hitting a moving target
+ with a champagne bottle cork."
+ -- arky
+%
+"ich bin ein berliner!" (i am a jelly donut)
+ -- john fitzgerald kennedy
+%
+"she was rather too intelligent and competent-looking to be
+ considered entirely beautiful, but all the more attractive because
+ of it."
+ -- george spencer-brown, "a lion's teeth"
+%
+minchinhampton (n.): the expression on a man's face when he has just
+zipped up his trousers without due care and attention.
+ -- douglas adams, the meaning of liff
+%
+all software projects are done by iterative prototyping.
+some companies call their prototypes "releases", that's all.
+%
+"the stripes on the highway began to unreel beneath her in a dizzying
+ blur as if all those grains of sand had lost their bearings and were
+ falling all over each other just trying to get out of the way to make
+ room for the next moment, or instant, or tick of the clock"
+-- mc 900 ft jesus (http://www.theendoftheworld.org/900/spider1.shtml)
+%
+"for her, the dashed lines on the freeway were like grains of sand
+ slipping, through an hour glass, ticking away the seconds, the
+ minutes, and the hours of her life. if she got home a few minutes
+ early on any given afternoon, it gave her a thrill as if she had
+ stolen a little something back from death."
+-- mc 900 ft jesus (http://www.theendoftheworld.org/900/spider1.shtml)
+%
+"health? what good is your health when you're otherwise an idiot?"
+ -- theodor w. adorno
+%
+"brevity is the soul of wit."
+ -- polonius (hamlet)
+"brevity is ... wit."
+ -- the simpsons
+%
+"the scientific paper in its orthodox form does embody a totally
+ mistaken conception, even a travesty, of the nature of scientific
+ thought."
+ -- sir peter medawar
+%
+review of a chemistry paper:
+ "paper should be greatly reduced or completely oxidized."
+ -- frank vastola
+%
+"the college students who are using lsd and marijuana today do not
+ comprise a criminal class. they are not drug addicts seeking to
+ escape. they're your best educated, your most creative, and your
+ most couragious, young people. and like it or not, they might build
+ you a new civilisation." -- porcupine tree, voyage 34
+%
+"a human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion,
+ butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet,
+ balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take
+ orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze
+ a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal,
+ fight efficiently, die gallantly. specialization is for insects."
+ -- robert heinlein
+%
+ubuntu is an ancient african word meaning "i can't install debian."
+ -- unknown
+%
+a farmer is a man outstanding in his field.
+%
+"by accepting this brick through your window, you accept it as is
+ and agree to my disclaimer of all warranties, express or implied,
+ as well as disclaimers of all liability, direct, indirect,
+ consequential or incidental, that may arise from the installation
+ of this brick into your building." -- seen on irc
+%
+"academia is really just a way to help those with high volumes of
+ nothing to say to social status."
+ -- myself on #debian-devel, 01 Feb 2007
+%
+"the most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds
+ new discoveries, is not 'eureka!' but 'that's funny...'"
+ -- isaac asimov
+%
+the united nations did a poll about food. the only question they asked
+was: "could you please give your honest opinion about a solution for
+the shortage of food in the rest of the world?" this poll failed
+because:
+ - in africa they didn't know what food was....
+ - in eastern-europe they didn't know what honest was....
+ - in western-europe they didn't know what shortage was...
+ - in china they didn't know what opinion was...
+ - in the middle-east they didn't know what solution was...
+ - in south-america they didn't know what please was...
+ - and in the usa they didn't know what "the rest of the world" was...
+%
+"mein gott, selbst ein huhn kann debian installieren, wenn du genug
+ koerner auf die enter-taste legst."
+ -- thomas koehler in de.alt.sysadmin.recovery
+%
+"i've been listening to my gut since i was 14 years old, and frankly
+ speaking, i've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for
+ brains."
+ -- rob gordon (john cusack in "high fidelity")
+%
+"never eat more than you can lift."
+ -- miss piggy
+%
+"...the prevailing catholic odor - incense, wax, centuries of mild
+ bleating from the lips of the flock."
+ -- thomas pynchon, gravity's rainbow
+%
+"we did rate the microsoft security researcher as
+ less-bad than the people who prepare the carcasses for dissection in
+ biology laboratories."
+ -- michael moyer, executive editor of _popular science_
+%
+"whale feces or working at microsoft? i would probably be the whale
+ feces researcher. salt air and whale flatulence; what
+ could go wrong?"
+ -- michael moyer, executive editor of _popular science_
+%
+"without a god, life is only a matter of opinion."
+ -- douglas adams
+%
+"the association on this web site and in peter chappell
+ publications, articles and books, made between remedy and diseases
+ is used for clarity, but is not the functional reality and does not
+ imply these resonances treat any disease. they merely vitalise and
+ inform the self healing system."
+ -- peter chappell
+%
+i stopped fighting my inner demons.. we're all on the same side now.
+%
+< Ganneff> more love
+< Ganneff> latex good!
+ -- #debian-devel
+%
+"give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. teach a man to
+ fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. talk to a hungry man about fish,
+ and you're a consultant."
+ -- scott adams
+%
+"perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but
+ when there is nothing left to take away."
+ -- antoine de saint-exupéry
+%
+uʍop ǝpısdn sı ɹoʇıuoɯ ɹnoʎ
+%
+"toleranz heißt, die fehler der anderen entschuldigen.
+ takt heißt, sie nicht bemerken."
+ -- arthur schnitzler
projects / etc / quotes.git / commitdiff